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Issue #193: “Community” and the Terrible Definition of Simplicity vs. Panties
Harris Sockel by
Every month, I discover (a) stories found by a relatively small number of people in the middle archive and (b) words for what I felt but couldn't name.
Input: a Three - Parts Series ~by Natali Mallel (Morad) in the sense of adulthood. It is based on the research of the psychologist Robert Kegan who found that humans tend to develop through 5 stages of development at Harvard Graduate School of Education.
- Stage 1: Impulsive Mind (early childhood, a minority of adults)
- Stage 2: Imperial Mind (adolescence, 6% of adults)
- Stage 3: Socialized Mind (58% of adults)
- Stage 4: Self-Authoring Mind (35% of adults)
- Stage 5: Self-Transforming Mind (1% of adults)
It is common to imagine children going through developmental stages (my friends with toddlers are “worriedly waiting for the terrible twos to end!).
Let me say it again. As adults, we often see life as a path to unlock new skills and opportunities, deepening mastery along the way. It differs from Kegan's theory in that as you grow, you fundamentally change yourself.
Stage 3 is the typical socialized adult. You identify your roles, relationships, and community. At Stage 4, you question the rules and the community. As you ascend to Stage 5, you begin to embrace or enjoy the unique ambiguity of your identity and life itself. You can imagine all the paths you can take beyond yourself, all the people you can become. Realization includes the following.
- There is no black or white. (“I am 'not smart.' I am smart in some situations and dumb in others.”)
- You can question both authority and yourself.
- You embrace paradox.
When I first read about the “self-transforming mind,” it felt scary to me. So flexible! So unstable! But Kegan sees it as radical self-awareness.
Practical tips for approaching Stage 5-Dom: If you feel conflicted about something (e.g., a career move), sit in a chair and set up chairs for all the different versions of you. Sit in each chair and express your fears, anger, or excitement. It may seem silly, but it will help train your brain to do the same internally.
One more thing: In the community
Every startup is “ doing community ” in the year of our Lord 2024. Patreon. Substack. Even OpenAI is hiring community teams. The word “community” feels like a buzzword to me. But behind every buzzword is an important idea.
Fabian Pfortmüller, co-founder of the Together Institute, expresses it better than I can. There is a definition problem with community. It has been overused. It is ambiguous. Even the definitions range too widely from “people living in the same place” to “people sharing common goals.” Pfortmüller proposes a new and simple definition.
When a brand or influencer tells you to “join the community,” they are probably lying unless all the followers feel like they care for each other and feel like a cohesive unit.
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Scott Lamb & Carly Rose Gillis edited and produced it.
Questions, feedback, or story suggestions? Email: tips@medium.com
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