1. Win Over Your Mother-in-Law Who Has a Good Impression of You

1. Clearly Present Your Future Plans

When marriage is on the agenda, the bride's parents are no longer concerned about whether you are serious about their daughter, but rather focus on whether you can provide her with a happy and stable future. Especially the mother-in-law, she wants to ensure that her daughter will not have to suffer or struggle in the future. Therefore, at the right time, you need to show your mother-in-law your plans for the future, allowing her to see your sense of responsibility and commitment.

• The "right time" is not when you randomly find an opportunity to start talking endlessly, but rather when the mother-in-law actively asks questions or shows interest in discussing, then you can smoothly present your blueprint to her. For example, after dinner, when you have some alone time with your mother-in-law, she may be concerned about your recent work or future plans, and this is a good time to showcase your plans.
• Your future plans should include her daughter’s position. Many men make a mistake when planning for the future: they only talk about their own careers and wealth, neglecting the role of the bride in their future. The mother-in-law will naturally worry: if her daughter is not in your plans, how can she trust you with her daughter? Therefore, you can express it like this: "I plan to become a regional general manager within five years, with an annual salary of 100,000. A portion of my income will be set aside for our future children's education fund, ensuring she won't have to work excessively. If she wishes, she can choose to be a full-time housewife."
• Additionally, you can mention your plans for financial security. The mother-in-law is often concerned about whether you can provide her daughter with a stable and warm living condition. Therefore, clarifying the steady development of your future career and the security you can bring to her daughter will help her trust you.

2. Express Filial Piety to Your Mother-in-Law

As a mother, the mother-in-law certainly hopes her daughter marries a filial husband. You not only need to let your mother-in-law know that you are a good son who respects his parents, but also show concern for her and her family through your actions. During major holidays, send gifts in your and your fiancée's name; occasionally call to check on your mother-in-law and ask about her well-being (remember not to vent to her about arguments); if possible, pick out things she needs to express your care for her.

2. Win Over Your Mother-in-Law Who Doesn't Have a Strong Liking for You

1. Identify the Reasons

To solve a problem, you must first understand its root cause. Why doesn't the mother-in-law like you? Is it due to objective factors like family background and economic conditions, or differences in personality and lifestyle? Or is she just someone who likes to compare with "other people's sons-in-law"? Only by pinpointing the reasons can you effectively address the issues.

2. Maintain Politeness and Demeanor, Pay Attention to Appearance and Behavior

If the mother-in-law doesn't have a strong liking for you, you should start with some basic details. Whether during visits or daily conversations, always maintain politeness and demeanor, dress simply and cleanly, behave appropriately, and speak moderately. Especially when the mother-in-law asks questions, keep your answers concise and avoid lengthy speeches. If the mother-in-law poses a question, you might give a brief answer and then appropriately elaborate to avoid awkward silences.

• When visiting, avoid flashy or non-mainstream clothing; a simple, clean shirt and trousers are sufficient. Keep nails trimmed and facial hair clean.
• Maintain a smile during conversations, and handle awkward questions calmly; remember to consistently use respectful terms like "you," "uncle," and "aunt."

3. "Silence is Golden"

Sometimes, maintaining silence can leave a more mature and composed impression on the mother-in-law than talking endlessly. Especially when the mother-in-law is not very enthusiastic about you, do not rush to defend yourself or change her opinion; appropriate silence can convey your maturity and calmness. Lengthy discussions may actually worsen her impression of you.

• This does not mean you should respond to every question like squeezing toothpaste, asking one question and answering another.
• If the mother-in-law actively asks you questions, remain calm. First, give a brief answer to her question, then smoothly expand on it. For example, if the mother-in-law asks, "Where are you from?" you should respond, "I am from... After graduating, I came here to work and met your daughter. Now I work at... mainly responsible for..." This way, you answer her question and extend the conversation, avoiding awkward pauses.
• Avoid expressing principled opinions. The mother-in-law is, after all, an elder, and her views may differ from yours. If you accidentally say something wrong, you can forget about easily marrying her daughter. This is especially true for topics related to religious beliefs, politics, and issues with historical context.
• Also consult your fiancée or father-in-law for advice. If the mother-in-law does not have a strong liking for you, the atmosphere of your private conversations can easily become awkward. Involve your fiancée and father-in-law in the conversation to create more interaction, adjust the atmosphere, and help you establish a more positive image during discussions.
• If you have already won over your future father-in-law, you can fully utilize his and your fiancée's status in the family to improve your image in the mother-in-law's eyes. First, understand the mother-in-law's temperament through both the father-in-law and fiancée; is she tough, or just tough on the outside but soft on the inside? Then devise strategies accordingly, whether to "fight fire with fire" or "use softness to overcome hardness." In terms of family hierarchy, the father-in-law and mother-in-law are on the same level; the father-in-law's unwavering support for you may backfire, so it might be better to try a gentle approach; although the fiancée is a junior, she always holds the initiative in marriage matters and can try a tougher strategy.

4. Appropriate Compliments

Timely compliments can help improve your image in the mother-in-law's eyes. Compliments should be sincere and avoid being overly exaggerated. If you overstate, it may come off as insincere. The subjects of your compliments can include the following, and you can find suitable points to compliment based on the actual situation:

• Compliment your fiancée. The ultimate target of your compliments is actually the mother-in-law. You can say, "She (the fiancée) has a gentle and considerate personality, is thoughtful yet strong-minded (you can use any applicable words to praise women here), and I believe this is all thanks to your guidance."
• Compliment the mother-in-law. From the moment you enter and meet her, you can observe her attire, demeanor, and speech, and appropriately offer compliments. For example, "Your outfit makes you look younger," "Did you really prepare this delicious meal all by yourself, aunt? It looks and tastes wonderful," or "What you said makes a lot of sense; I've really learned a lot." Of course, if you feel a bit shy to say it directly, you can tell your fiancée privately. After you leave, your fiancée will naturally convey it to the mother-in-law.

5. Let the Mother-in-Law Know Your Commitment to Her Daughter

What the mother-in-law cares about most is whether you truly love her daughter and are willing to work for her happiness. If the mother-in-law does not have a strong liking for you, it is best not to discuss future plans too early, as this may make her feel that you are planning to take her daughter away without her consent. Through some subtle expressions, let the mother-in-law feel your deep affection and commitment to your fiancée, demonstrating your determination to create a better future for her daughter.

• Express your love for your fiancée to the mother-in-law, but do not be too direct. If you say to the mother-in-law, "I really love her; please agree to our marriage," she might just kick you out. Occasionally giving your fiancée gentle glances and smiles will suffice. The mother-in-law knows everything and sees it all.
• Mention your future plans to the mother-in-law, along with your confidence and actual efforts to achieve your goals. Avoid making goals that are "grandiose and empty"; they should have a certain feasibility and credibility. You can refer to the first suggestion in the first part.
• Let the mother-in-law feel your deep feelings for your fiancée. All mothers hope their daughters can find a good home, receive the care and attention they need, and not suffer any grievances. Your mother-in-law is no different. Let her know that you are willing to invest in her daughter, remain loyal, and even if you have to struggle together, you will not let her feel sad or suffer any grievances.

6. Turn Your Intentions into Actions

"Actions speak louder than words." You should not only express your feelings verbally but also prove your sincerity through actual actions. You should actively demonstrate more in daily life to regain a positive impression.

• Give your girlfriend small gifts, such as jewelry, scarves, watches, or even practical items like hand warmers. They don't have to be expensive, but they should reflect your care for your fiancée; frequently pick her up and drop her off at work, and maintain daily phone or text contact.

• During major holidays, even if you cannot visit in person, express your greetings and intentions through your fiancée.

Tips

• Establish solid communication and trust with your fiancée, understand her parents' personalities and needs, which can help you touch the mother-in-law more effectively.
• Maintain physical and mental health, cultivate good living habits, have a correct worldview, be positive, and possess a sense of family responsibility; such a son-in-law will be more favored by the mother-in-law.
• Use strategies cautiously, avoiding overly ingratiating behavior and unrealistic pretenses.
• Gifts do not need to be extravagant, but should reflect thoughtfulness and care.
• Remember, you are marrying your fiancée, not just trying to please the mother-in-law. Overly ingratiating behavior may put pressure on you and affect future family life. Therefore, be yourself and treat others sincerely to go further in marriage.
• Consult married individuals or male friends who are also engaged. Sharing experiences can yield unexpected insights.

Warnings

• Promised commitments and plans should not be "grandiose and empty." This is not only a tactic to win over the mother-in-law but also a guarantee for your future with your wife.
• Not every girlfriend's mother will be your mother-in-law. Take relationships seriously; giving up a relationship because you cannot win over the mother-in-law only proves you are an irresponsible man.