You feel that you have thoroughly studied "subject, predicate and object" and "definite complement", and you can even recite "subjunctive mood" and "inversion sentence". But when it comes to writing sentences, the grammatical rules in my mind are like a knotted ball of wool, and I can't figure them out. The resulting sentences either look like stammering, or make people scratch their heads after reading them: "What does this mean?" Don't worry, today we are going to talk about why the sentences are still not fluent even after reading so many grammar books, and how to get out of this "grammar pit" and write good sentences that will impress people. Don't worry, I will try to be as funny as possible. After all, learning grammar is hard enough, and it would be too cruel to say it with a straight face.

Let’s first talk about the root of this phenomenon. You think that reading grammar books is learning a language, but this is not the case. The grammar book is like a martial arts secret book, telling you "the first form of the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms: palm downward, Qi sinks into the Dantian." But you stood there holding the secret book, reciting the formula over and over, but you didn't know where to move your hands and feet. With the last palm strike, the dragon didn't come down, and you knocked yourself out first. The same is true for the grammatical rules. It tells you "the subject is followed by the predicate, and the predicate is followed by the object." You write accordingly: "I eat apple." Hey, something seems wrong? Adding an article: "I eat an apple." is still weird. I flipped through the book and saw, oh, it turned out to be "an apple" because "apple" begins with a vowel. You think you've learned something, but the next time you write "I drink an orange juice," you fall into the same trap again. Why? Because grammar books teach rules, but they don't teach you how to "live" the rules.

Rules are dead, people are alive, and language is even more alive. When you look at foreigners talking, how can they hold a grammar book and ponder it every day? When people open their mouths, they say: "I'm gonna grab some food, you in?" This sentence needs to be analyzed according to the grammar book. Are the subject, predicate and object complete? Is the tense standard? What the hell is "Gonna"? But people just speak smoothly and feel comfortable. Look at what you wrote: "I will go to the restaurant for eating some foods." There seems to be no big problem with the grammar, but when you read it, it always feels like a robot that jumped out - a robot with some glitches. This is the difference between grammatical rules and practical application: the rules are the skeleton, and the application is the flesh and blood. The skeleton without flesh and blood will fall apart after taking two steps.

So what's the problem? We have to take a look at the "routines" of grammar books first. The biggest problem with grammar books is that they always try to put language into a box, as if language is an obedient primary school student. When the teacher says "stand up straight," it has to stand upright. But language is a rebellious boy. If you ask it to stand up straight, it will lie flat; if you ask it to speak honestly, it will give you some wisecracks. For example, grammar books tell you that a sentence must have a subject and a predicate, otherwise it will be incomplete. But when foreigners are chatting, sentences like "Nice day, huh?" without a subject are everywhere. Do you dare to say that it is not fluent? For another example, the book says that adjectives must always be in front of nouns, but when people are happy, they will say "Man, that's cool crazy!" and directly put the adjective behind. If you correct people according to the grammar book, they will think you are the grammar police from aliens.

Therefore, if you read too many grammar books, you will easily fall into the trap of "rigidity". The more you try to write every sentence "correctly," the easier it is to write "zombie sentences"--corporeal sentences that sound like incantations. For example, if you want to express "I am very tired and want to sleep," the grammar book will teach you to write: "I am very tired and I want to sleep." Is that right? The main clause and subordinate clauses are included, and the logic is clear. But look at what foreigners say: "Man, I'm beat, gonna crash." This sentence is as short as lightning, but the flavor is as strong as old fire soup. If you compare your sentences again, do you feel like a primary school student writing? This is the gap between grammar rules and practical application: rules teach you "how to write", but they don't teach you "how to write well".

What to do? Do we want to burn all the grammar books and write sentences based on feeling from now on? Don't worry, let's calm down before burning the book. A grammar book is still useful. It is like a map and can tell you the general direction. But if you just look at the map without walking, you will never reach your destination. If we want the sentences to be fluent, we have to shift from "memorizing rules" to "learning and applying them lively". I will give you a few tips below, which are guaranteed to be practical and funny. After learning them, I will not say that you will become Shakespeare, but at least you will be able to write sentences that will not make people laugh out loud.

The first trick is to "learn from others". Stop staring at the grammar book, put it aside and see how foreigners speak. Find some American and British dramas, and choose ones with a lot of dialogue, such as "Friends" or "Brothers and Brothers." Don't just laugh, take note of how people convey their meaning in one sentence. For example, in "Friends", when Ross wants to say "I'm very nervous," he says "I've got butterflies in my stomach." instead of "I am very nervous." You can learn to use it and write "I took a test today, and the butterflies in my stomach are flying." Isn't it more vivid than "I'm very nervous"? For another example, in "The Broke Sisters", Max often uses playful short sentences to hurt people: "You're about as useful as a chocolate teapot." You have learned that next time you want to hurt your friends, you can say: "Your idea is as reliable as plastic chopsticks for cooking." How smooth and interesting does it sound?

The key to stealing is to imitate, don't be afraid of embarrassment. When you first start imitating, your sentences may look like crappy knockoffs, such as "I am so happy lah, like dancing in the rain sia." (with a bit of a Singaporean accent thrown in). It doesn't matter, just try it a few times and you'll find the feeling slowly. Language is like learning to dance. You have to step on other people's feet for a few steps before you can twist yourself.

The second trick is to "think less and write more". Do you have a bunch of rules popping up in your mind as soon as you write a sentence: "Is this tense correct? Is it okay to put this word here?" As a result, the more you think about it, the more confused you are, and in the end even "I am hungry" is written as "I am hunger". Come on, writing sentences is not a math problem. There is no need to be so precise. Write the meaning first, even if it's "I want to eat now," and then go back and change it to "I want to eat now." As you change it, you will find that your "feeling" for the rules becomes stronger. It's like playing a game. When you first start playing, you always die, but after you die a lot, you will know where there are pitfalls and where there are monsters. The same goes for writing sentences. If you write more, smooth sentences will naturally flow from your fingertips.

The third move is called "find a bad friend." Find a friend who can speak English, or a buddy who is good at Chinese, throw the sentences you wrote to him and let him find faults. Don't be afraid of being laughed at. It's best to be laughed at as badly as possible. For example, if you write "I go to park yesterday, very fun lah." He may say: "Brother, your sentence is like the slogan shouted by Singaporean vendors when they sell chop suey noodles." When you hear this, you will blush, but next time you will definitely remember that "yesterday" should be matched with the past tense, and write "I went to the park yesterday, and it was a lot of fun." The good thing about bad friends is that they are mean-mouthed but good-hearted. They can help you find out the "strange smell" in your sentences, which is much better than correcting it yourself.

The fourth trick is called "play and learn." Don't treat grammar as a test, use it as a toy. For example, if you learn conditional sentences introduced by "if", don't always write boring sentences like "If I have money, I will buy a car". Try "If I were a superhero, I'd fly to the moon and steal some cheese." Do you feel that you are special and talented just by writing? Another example is to learn comparative forms. Don't write "The cat is bigger than the mouse", that's boring. Write "The pizza in my fridge is fatter than my cat!" How interesting! As you play with it, you will find that the grammar rules are not so scary, but like Lego blocks, which can be used to create new tricks.

At this point, you may be asking: "Do I still need to read a grammar book?" Yes, but don't treat it as a Bible. Grammar books are tools, not bosses. You can use it to check and fill in gaps. For example, if you can’t figure out when “who” and “whom” are used, just flip through the book. But don't expect it to teach you to write vivid sentences. You have to learn it in life on your own. Just like learning to drive, you can memorize the traffic rules by heart, but you will never be able to drive without stepping on the accelerator and brake a few times on the road.

Let me say a few more words about the misunderstanding of "tongshun". Do you think the sentence doesn't make sense because of incorrect grammar? Not necessarily. Sometimes the grammar is correct, but the sentences are still awkward. For example, "I enjoy to listen music on weekend." The grammar is barely passable, but it reads like a sprained foot. Foreigners will say: "I love listening to music on weekends." Why? Because it is customary to follow "enjoy" with "-ing", because "music" is an uncountable noun, there is no need to add "to", and because "weekend" refers generally to the plural form. This is not something rigidly prescribed in a grammar book, but a "habit" of language. You can't remember these habits just by rote memorization. They have to be "developed" slowly by listening, speaking, and writing more.

Speaking of "raising", I have to tell you an embarrassing story about myself. For a while, I also felt that I didn’t learn grammar well, and the sentences I wrote were often criticized by foreigners. Later, I became cruel and read English forums every day, and even chatted with people. At first, the things I wrote were terrible. For example, if I wanted to say "I saw a movie yesterday, it was very funny," I wrote "I yesterday see a movie, very funny lah." A British netizen replied: "Mate, your sentence sounds like a pirate who's had too much rum." Funny." He replied "Much better!" From then on, I realized that fluency is not about whether the grammar is correct, but whether it sounds like human speech.

So, don’t stare at the grammar book in a daze, it won’t praise you for being smart. Stand up, move, listen to music, watch a show, write in a diary, find someone to chat with. Language is something that becomes smoother the more you use it, just like cooking. When the heat is up, the flavor will naturally come out. If you still feel that your sentences are not fluent, don't doubt your IQ. It may be that you haven't found the "heat" yet. Try more and play more, and one day you will find that the sentences you write are not only smooth, but also make people look at them twice.

Finally, let me tell you a little joke to warm up the scene. There was a grammar geek who went for an interview, and the interviewer asked: "Tell me about yourself." He replied: "I am a person who is diligent, responsible, and I works hard." The interviewer was stunned and said: "Your grammar's perfect... until it isn't." As a result, this guy was not hired because the interviewer felt that he was too "grammatically perfect" and not like a living person. You see, if you learn grammar so rigidly, you can't even find a job. So, relax, learn and use it, and don't let the grammar book tie you up like a mummy. Language is for playing with, not for enshrining.

Okay, if you think it’s not enough, I can tell you another story about how I used a grammar book to cushion the corner of my desk. But for now, you’d better try these tricks first. Don't just watch and practice, otherwise I will make fun of your erratic sentences next time we meet!