Gender beauty standards in selfies
Self-portrait, as a way of self-presentation, has long gone beyond simple photography behavior and has become a medium for individuals to express their identity, aesthetics and emotions. In the couple circle on college campuses, girls’ selfies are often labeled as “cute” and “sweet”. They skillfully use filters, angles and light to create an image that meets mainstream aesthetic expectations: big eyes, pointed chin, soft skin tone, and playful expressions or carefully selected backgrounds - whether it is the library's bookshelf or the sunset in the playground, it can always create a youthful atmosphere. This kind of selfie is not only for recording, but also for conveying a carefully constructed "ideal self" to the outside world.
In contrast, boys’ selfies often appear “caused” or even “disaster”. They might just grin at the mirror, or slapped around with front cameras in the dormitory, with the background of a messy bed or a table full of snacks. Such photos are often regarded as "no beauty" or even "eye-smelling" in the eyes of girls. Interestingly, this difference is not a mere technical problem, but is rooted in society's different expectations for the beauty standards of men and women. Women’s selfies are given more requirements for “exquisite” and “softness”, while men’s selfies are more allowed to be “real” or even “rough”. This gendered aesthetic standard is particularly obvious when couples take photos and comment on each other: she hopes that his selfies will also have a "sensation of atmosphere", but he thinks that "just take it clearly."
Behind this difference is the invisible discipline of social culture on gender temperament. Women are encouraged to show softness and affinity through their external images, so their selfies often need to be multiple “processed” to meet expectations. Men are given more "freedom right", their selfies do not require too much embellishment, and even "disaster" can be interpreted as a straightforward charm. However, when couples start to review selfies, this standard difference often triggers interesting collisions. She may complain that his photos are "totally inattentive", while he may feel that her filters "can't recognize people." This kind of interaction is not only a confrontation of aesthetic taste, but also a test of each other's understanding of "self-presentation".
A subtle game of emotional expression rights
Selfies are not only a display of beauty, but also an expression of emotions. In a couple relationship, selfies often carry the function of sharing life and conveying emotions. Her selfie may be a coquettish pout, expressing “I’m in a good mood today”; or it may be a side face that lowers my head and implies “I’m a little emo”. These photos are not only a "report" to show to the other party, but also a way to express emotions. However, boys’ selfies are rarely given the same emotional depth. Their photos are often interpreted as "simple recording" rather than "emotional transmission", and are sometimes nicknamed as representatives of "straight male aesthetics".
This difference points to a deeper problem: the gendered distribution of emotional expression rights. In love scenes on university campuses, girls’ selfies are acquiesced as a legal carrier of emotional expression. Whether they are happy, lost or acting spoiled, they can convey complex emotional states through carefully composed selfies, and these photos are often "interpreted" by the other party. In contrast, boys’ selfies are rarely given the same function. Their photos are more regarded as a "functional" existence - recording a certain moment, rather than expressing the inner world. When he tries to convey his emotions through selfies, such as imitating her pouting or deliberately posing a melancholy expression, she often teases him as "unparalleled" or "excessive force".
This difference in emotional expression rights stems to some extent from society's restrictions on male emotional expression. Men are expected to show rationality and restraint, so their selfies are more interpreted as "record" rather than "performance." When couples make selfies, this asymmetry often triggers subtle friction. She might find his selfie “soulless”, while he might think her requests are “too complicated”. This game is not only a disagreement of aesthetic taste, but also an exploration of how both parties allocate emotional expression space in their relationship. In some couples, this difference even becomes an intimate way of teasing: she would smile and instruct him to "how to take a good shot", while he half-jokingly complained that she "was turned on the filter as if she had changed her own."
The magic of beauty filters
When it comes to selfies, we have to mention beauty filters - this "magic wand" of modern technology. On university campuses, almost no girl’s selfies can completely get rid of the filters. From skin grinding to whitening, from magnifying eyes to slimming the face, the filter reshapes the image of a selfie in a nearly "scam". When you turn on the front camera of your phone, a "perfect version of yourself" with skin like cream and eyes like stars immediately appears on the screen, making people unable to help but sigh at the "dream-making" ability of technology. However, behind this "perfection" is also hidden the contradiction between aesthetic standards and the true self.
For couples, filters are not only personal choices, but also variables in interaction. She used the filter to take a "fairy" selfie, and when she sent it to the other party, she might expect a sentence "Wow, it's so beautiful." But he might say half-jokingly: "This filter is too exaggerated. There are not such big eyes in reality." This kind of dialogue seems relaxed, but in fact it touches on a core question: Who is the "beauty" created by the filter for? Is it to satisfy your aesthetic expectations or to cater to the other party’s gaze? In love on college campuses, the use of filters is often regarded as a "privilege" for girls, and if boys use filters, they may be ridiculed as "not manly enough". This gendered filter culture further amplifies the aesthetic differences in selfies.
What is more worth complaining about is that the "fraudulent nature" of the filter not only affects the presentation of the selfie, but also changes the viewer's expectations. When she gets used to the "perfect" image supported by the filter, she may be more picky about his "original" selfies; while he may subconsciously expect her selfies to always maintain the "high standards" of the filter version. This aesthetic misalignment caused by filters can sometimes even cause minor disputes. For example, she might complain that he was "too ugly to shoot", while he refuted that "the filter made you look like you weren't you." In these debates, filters are not only technical tools, but also amplifiers that contradict the contradiction between aesthetic standards and the true self.
From selfies to subtle projections of relationships
Selfies and mutual comments between couples are on the surface a discussion about the quality of the photos, but in fact they are a mirror of their relationship. The contrast between her "cute" selfie and his "disaster" selfie not only reflects the gendered aesthetic expectations, but also reflects the role positioning and interaction mode of both parties in the relationship. She may show softness and affinity through selfies, looking forward to his recognition and response; she may express an unconventional personality through "casual" selfies, but she may not be fully understood by her. This difference is not irreconcilable, but may become an opportunity for couples to gain understanding.
During the process of mutual selfies, both parties gradually learn to accept each other's expressions. She might start to appreciate the sincerity behind his “disaster” selfie, and he might try to take a “atmosphere” photo from the angle she likes. This mutual compromise and adjustment is part of the growth in university campus love. After all, selfies are not only a tool for self-presentation, but also a bridge toward each other. Through photos, they are not only sharing clips of life, but also sharing their understanding of "beauty", "self", and "relationship".
Reality outside of filters
Although beauty filters provide convenient "beautification" ways, they also make people wonder: What is the meaning of selfies? In love on a university campus, selfies are not only a way to record youth, but also a medium for emotional communication between couples. Her "cute" and his "disaster" are on the surface differences in aesthetic standards, but in fact they are different expressions of each other's self and relationships. Filters may make photos more in line with mainstream aesthetics, but they cannot conceal the real emotions and personality behind the photos. When she smiled and complained that his selfie was "like a car accident scene", and when he felt helplessly that her filter was "too fake", these interactions themselves are the warmth of the relationship.
In the youthful days of college campuses, selfies are a sense of ritual and a way for couples to share life and collide with ideas. Whether it is her careful composition or his casual shot, these photos carry each other's memories and emotions. Perhaps, the true "cute" lies not in the blessing of the filter, but in the moment when they are willing to press the shutter for each other.