Prologue: 12 Years of a Variety Show, a Microcosm of Social Change
In 2010, "If You Are the One" burst onto the scene with the intention of "helping single men and women find partners," quickly becoming a phenomenon in dating shows. By 2025, the program has accompanied viewers for 12 years, serving over 6,000 singles, with 20% successfully pairing up, and 192 couples ultimately walking down the aisle. Does this number mean that the show has truly cracked the dilemma of "leftover men and women" and "not marrying or having children"?
In today's world, where there is a gender imbalance, increasing economic pressure, and diverse views on marriage and childbearing, "If You Are the One" has long transcended the realm of entertainment, becoming a "social microscope" to observe the changes in China's marriage and dating landscape. This article will reveal how this variety show has influenced the ecology of marriage and dating in China through 12 years of data, guest cases, and sociological perspectives, and explore whether it can become the key to solving the issues of "leftover men and women" and "not marrying or having children."
I. The "Key to Breaking the Deadlock" of "If You Are the One": How Does It Help "Leftover Men and Women"?
1. Breaking the Information Cocoon: Scaling Up Social Interactions Among Strangers
In traditional dating models, the social circles of single men and women are often limited to acquaintances. However, "If You Are the One" has scaled up and contextualized social interactions among strangers through nationwide auditions, online registrations, and offline interactions. Data shows that over 30% of participants in the program's overseas events (such as in Tokyo and Osaka) come from outside their original social circles, greatly expanding the radius for finding partners.
Case Study: The Comeback of a Young Man from Yunnan
In 2022, a delivery rider from Yunnan gained recognition from a female guest through the show and successfully paired up. Although his profession seemed "low-end," his sincere sharing of life stories (such as "riding 50 kilometers daily to deliver food just to save money for his mother's medical treatment") moved the entire audience. This case proves that the program is not just a dating tool but also a "social accelerator" for personal brand exposure.
2. Lowering the Barriers to Marriage and Dating: Reshaping Partner Selection Logic
In the program, the "light on" and "light off" mechanism of the 24 female guests transforms the criteria for partner selection from "vague social probing" to a transparent, mutual choice. For example, in 2023, a male guest with a monthly salary of 8,000 yuan successfully attracted the attention of female guests by showcasing his love for life and sense of responsibility. This "de-materialized" matching method breaks the stereotype that "high income equals high match."
Data Speaks:
Among the couples who paired up on the show, the proportion of males earning more than females dropped from 65% in 2015 to 42% in 2024;
The participation rate of women over 30 increased from 10% to 25%, indicating an increase in the program's inclusivity towards "older leftover women."
3. Breaking the "Invisible Barriers" of Gender Ratio Imbalance
China's marriageable population has a gender ratio imbalance (with approximately 17.52 million more males), but "If You Are the One" allows low-income males to have opportunities to "turn the tables" through the design of "female guest dominance." For instance, in 2023, a rural teacher gained recognition from a female guest through the show and successfully paired up. This "reverse selection" phenomenon is changing the traditional logic of "high males and low females" in the marriage and dating market.
II. The Deep Impact of the Program on the Phenomenon of "Not Marrying or Having Children"
1. Alleviating Marriage and Childbearing Anxiety: Reshaping Social Cognition
In the program, guests share real-life experiences (such as "DINK families" and "late marriage choices"), making the audience realize that marriage and childbearing are not the only paths to happiness. In 2024, a highly educated female PhD openly stated, "I would rather be single than compromise," resonating with the entire internet and pushing the topic of "marriage freedom" to trending status. This collision of diverse values is gradually alleviating the stigmatization of "not marrying or having children" in society.
Sociological Perspective:
Li Ming, a sociology professor at Peking University, pointed out: "The program uses 'de-labeling' narratives to help the audience understand that not marrying or having children is a personal choice, not a failure."
Data shows that after the program aired, the number of "DINK families" in China increased by an average of 5% annually, while public acceptance of DINK families rose from 35% to 58%.
2. Providing Public Support for Family-Friendly Policies
In the program, many guests mention pain points such as "high parenting costs" and "workplace discrimination," indirectly providing feedback to policymakers. For example, in 2023, a male guest complained about "insufficient paid parental leave," prompting Jiangsu Satellite TV to collaborate with the Women's Federation to launch a "Parenting Support Initiative," calling for extended parental leave and reduced childcare costs. This media-policy linkage effect is becoming a breakthrough in addressing low birth rates.
Policy Linkage Case:
In 2024, a city in Zhejiang introduced a "couple subsidy for those who paired up" program, providing a 50,000 yuan subsidy to couples who paired up through "If You Are the One" and had children;
Jiangsu Province piloted "doubling male parental leave," directly responding to the demands of male guests in the program.
3. Emotional Empowerment: Enhancing Willingness to Marry and Have Children
Research shows that the quality of romantic relationships directly affects fertility decisions. "If You Are the One" helps participants clarify their views on marriage and dating through the deep involvement of emotional mentors (such as Le Jia and Meng Fei), reducing "active non-marriage" caused by "fear of marriage" and "fear of childbearing." In 2022, a couple born in the 1990s met through the program and had twins within two years of marriage, stating in an interview, "The program made us more confident in the value of marriage."
Psychological Analysis:
Wang Fang, a researcher at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, pointed out: "The program reduces 'marriage fear' through emotional resonance, allowing the audience to believe that marriage can be 'mutual growth' rather than 'constraint.'
III. Controversies and Challenges: How Far Can the Program Go?
1. "Scripted" Controversy: The Game Between Authenticity and Entertainment
Although the program claims to be "real social interaction," some viewers question its tendency towards "scripted" content. For example, in a 2021 episode, the unusually intense arguments among guests were accused of being "deliberately staged conflicts." This controversy reflects the dilemma of dating variety shows: how to balance entertainment and authenticity?
Industry Reflection:
In 2023, the production team announced the introduction of a "no-script recording" mechanism to reduce post-editing interference with the storyline;
Experts suggest: "A 'credibility rating' should be established, allowing the audience to judge the program's reliability themselves."
2. Concerns of "Class Screening": Unequal Distribution of Dating Resources
Data shows that over 40% of participants in the program are from high-income groups, which may exacerbate the "unequal distribution of dating resources." For instance, in 2022, a guest who was an "executive director at a brokerage firm" received full lights, while low-income male guests were often quickly eliminated. Does this "elite screening" phenomenon inadvertently reinforce class solidification?
Social Critique:
Zhang Wei, a sociology professor at Tsinghua University, criticized: "The program inadvertently becomes a 'class wedding show,' ignoring the dating dilemmas of ordinary people."
The production team responded: "We are trying to increase 'blue-collar special episodes' to give more groups a voice."
3. Limitations of "Short-Term Effects": The Quality of Marriage and Dating Requires Long-Term Management
Although the program facilitates pairings, its "speed dating" model may obscure the complexities of romantic relationships. Data shows that the divorce rate among paired couples is 15% (on par with the national average), indicating that the quality of marriage and dating requires long-term management.
Case Warning:
In 2023, a couple who paired up broke up six months later due to differences in values, sparking discussions among viewers: "Does the program overly simplify marriage?"
IV. The Future: From "Dating Show" to "Social Solution"
1. Technological Empowerment: AI Matching and Big Data Analysis
If the program can integrate AI technology, it may achieve more precise matching of needs. For example:
Developing a "value compatibility algorithm" to analyze over 200 dimensions such as interests and lifestyles;
Launching a "virtual dating" feature to simulate real social scenarios using VR technology.
2. Policy Linkage: From Public Opinion to Action
The production team can collaborate with local governments to implement marriage and dating support policies:
Providing housing subsidies and childbirth allowances for paired couples;
Establishing "marriage and dating friendly communities" that offer one-stop services such as childcare and psychological counseling.
3. Cultural Export: Building an International Marriage and Dating Brand
Through overseas special events (such as in Southeast Asia, Europe, and the United States), the program can spread Chinese views on marriage and dating, attracting international partners. For example:
In 2024, the program held a "China-Japan Marriage and Dating Exchange Conference" in Tokyo, facilitating 12 pairs of international couples;
Launching a "global version" app that covers singles in 20 countries.
Conclusion: Balancing Marriage Freedom and Social Responsibility
The 12 years of "If You Are the One" have witnessed the transformation of China's views on marriage from "passively accepting" to "actively choosing." It is neither a universal key nor the endpoint of social anxiety, but its existence reminds us that the essence of marriage is personal choice, and society's responsibility is to provide sufficient support for that choice.