Today I want to talk to everyone about whether we will return to live in Beijing or continue living in London. This is quite a big question, and our opinions differ. This issue is related to many overseas Chinese living abroad. I am now fully retired, and Amanda has two years left until her retirement, and then our son (Tou Tou) wants to go to China to develop his career. I think of the saying "returning to one's roots."
Amanda said: I'm not sure, because I will retire in two years and can receive a government pension. Guo Yi and I often discuss whether we should settle in Beijing. I know Tou Tou wants to, and Guo Yi also wants to. But I think it would be quite difficult to completely leave here.
Everyone has different emotions, such as love, family affection, friendship, and my homesickness. I still feel that my roots are in China. Although I lived in China for 29 years and came to the UK at 29, I have lived here for 38 years. But I always feel that Beijing, China, is my home. I feel that although London has a good environment, good food, and a peaceful life, it still doesn't feel right. This is something I often argue with Amanda about.
Amanda said: I think I would not get used to it; I have discussed this with Guo Yi many times. Guo Yi has returned to China for a long time several times, for several months, which is fine because I know he will come back. In fact, we can be apart for a few months, and we can talk on the phone. I can do my work here, keep myself busy, and meet my family and friends; I can do that. But if Guo Yi goes back to live permanently, it would feel like a vacation for me, often going to see him, and we have talked about that. But I'm not sure if that would work. I find it very difficult to realize.
I think this issue is particularly difficult to resolve; it's the last big question of my life. Whenever I think about this, when I return to the country, it's not just about the big restaurants in Beijing; even the small eateries attract me. Things like donkey meat sandwiches, fried sauce noodles, and tofu pudding. It's not just about these things; it's about those alleys, those sceneries, and the relationships between people. Emotionally, I feel particularly accustomed to these aspects of China. But Amanda may not have that experience. So, it's hard for her to make the decision to return to China with me.
Amanda said: I will miss my family very much; I will miss England because this is my home. Just like Guo Yi has been here for so many years, 38 years, I feel the same way. But when I am in Beijing, I am very happy and like Beijing. So, we still have some time to think about it. It might be like Guo Yi in the past, going back for a long time, maybe two or three months, to see how it goes, but we won't rent out our current house; we won't "leave no way back." When I want to come back, I can return. Maybe this way is possible. I know I can come back. Not leaving so completely.
It seems that we are going to get a divorce; after 38 years of marriage, it's about time, haha. Many Chinese expatriates, especially when they get older, will think about a strong desire to return to their homeland, feeling that it is their home, while living abroad, although more comfortable, lacks the feeling of home. The mountains and rivers of China, the alleys and streets, the habits of life, the environment, and the emotions are things they can never forget. No matter how well you eat and drink here, you have a big house and a nice car, enjoying a good life, it still can't compare to China. It seems that in cross-cultural marriages, no matter how many years you have persisted, how deep and good your feelings are, in the end, this issue is actually too difficult to resolve. Because ultimately, people will grow old, and there will be two countries with different cultures; at least, the UK is at the far west of the earth, and China is at the far east. The distance is very far, at least over 10,000 kilometers. Therefore, this decision leads us to argue continuously. Sometimes the arguments can be quite intense. However, at present, this issue is not immediately upon us. But it will come soon. So I hope our life experiences can provide some thoughts for friends, especially those overseas. These decisions are ultimately made by yourselves.
So if you have any thoughts, they can also help us. That's all for today; please give us some advice.