Traditional culture has a long history, with profound and rich connotations. The sayings that are commonly passed down in folklore, though colloquial, carry deep meanings, reflecting the wisdom, knowledge, and humor of the ancients. Among them is a proverb: “Women bow their heads, men puff out their chests, a lifetime of wealth and half a lifetime of leisure.” Why did the ancients use such a metaphor? Today, let us explore the meaning of this saying.
1. What does it mean for women to bow their heads?
In the eyes of the ancients, women were often cautious and reserved in conversation; if they held their heads high while communicating, it could make others feel offended. Conversely, frequently nodding and smiling would create a sense of friendliness, modesty, and gentleness. Especially, if a woman appears to be listening attentively while someone is speaking, it gives the impression that she is respectful and earns her respect in return. In ancient communication, women would often slightly bow their heads to show respect, discretion, and subtlety. Such women were regarded as educated and morally cultivated, embodying the virtues of loyalty and righteousness, and were destined to be good wives. Additionally, women who know how to bow their heads would be valued by well-off men. Therefore, the ancients said that such women would lead a life of ease and enjoy a wealthy existence. Women are the feng shui of the family; a gentle woman is like water, and water symbolizes wealth. Thus, a family with a gentle wife will prosper. Today, accomplished women with rich inner lives, knowledge, and humility know how to “bow their heads” at the right moments. This “bowing of the head” is not a sign of cowardice or weakness, but rather an expression of humility and modesty.
2. Men puffing out their chests
Men puffing out their chests refers to responsible men. Compared to a man who bows his head, a man who holds his head high certainly demonstrates confidence, making others feel proud and decisive, and can also give the impression of being trustworthy. In ancient times, to assess whether a man was worthy of lifelong commitment, it was crucial to consider whether he had the responsibility to bear the burdens of the family. A man who puffs out his chest also gives the impression of integrity, being able to courageously stand up in the face of difficulties; such a man can start a business, achieve success, and protect his family.
3. A lifetime of wealth and half a lifetime of leisure
Whether in ancient or modern times, to measure a person's happiness, one only needs to look at their life journey. Such individuals, in their earlier years, worked diligently and responsibly, and later naturally achieved careers, passing them on to future generations, enjoying the pleasures of old age, living a peaceful life, light as a cloud. Of course, society today is very different, so the standards are constantly changing. Just like women in the workplace, sometimes if they are not strong, they may suffer losses and find it hard to advance. Nevertheless, much of the life experience and wisdom of the ancients is worth learning from.
Great spirit determines great outcomes. Throughout history, those who achieve great careers are all individuals with great spirit. Spirit is a form of the pinnacle of knowledge. The sea of knowledge is vast; continuous learning will eventually lead us to the shores of success, and the higher we stand, the further we can see.
What is called great spirit?
Mencius said: “In the vastness of the world, standing in the rightful position of the world, implementing the great way of the world, when successful, help the people; when unsuccessful, self-cultivate according to the way. Wealth cannot tempt, poverty cannot shake, strength cannot subdue, that is the true gentleman.” The essence of this saying is: Actions should be straightforward, calm, and upright. When successful, help people across the world; when in difficulty, self-improve and perfect oneself. Not being tempted by wealth, when wealthy, do not become arrogant or indulge in extravagance; when poor, do not change one's integrity. When threatened or oppressed by power, do not yield to temptations of profit, nor change one's principles. That is the true person of great spirit. The sky is vast, embracing the boundless sea. The earth is vast, nurturing all living beings. The sea is vast, accommodating countless rivers and streams. A person of great spirit contains all of this within their heart.
A person of great spirit treats others with tolerance and kindness
The book Tai Gan Tan states: “In dealing with the world, yielding a step is high, retreating a step is the foundation for advancing. Being tolerant towards others is a blessing; benefiting others is the foundation for benefiting oneself.” A person of great spirit has a broad heart, treating others generously and openly, not calculating gains and losses; it is better to yield a little than to lose harmony, thus building great outcomes, accumulating blessings and fortune for oneself, and the path of life becomes broader. A person of great spirit has a generous heart, always knowing how to forgive others, creating a great situation, and also accumulating great blessings. One should nurture their spirit; spirit is not a personality trait; it is a form of demeanor. Spirit is the quality of each person, what is expressed outwardly from the inner self, an invisible strength emanating from one's qualities. It is not something innate but must be cultivated and gradually accumulated in daily life, a form of awareness in dealing with others, expressed naturally, not something that can be created at will.
A person of great spirit communicates politely, behaves gently, has a courteous attitude, is not hasty, not lazy, and does not appear dazed when there is work to be done. They view issues from a higher perspective, making others feel respect; they are like a good book that always captivates readers, always interesting and appealing from every angle, and once picked up to read, one does not want to stop, finding it increasingly enjoyable. Spirit is a form of simple character, unconcerned with profit or fame, with a clear mind, a form of wealth that is always closely tied to oneself, which no one can take away; when expressed outwardly, it will always be praised and admired, while hidden helps one remain calm and composed.
A person of great spirit smiles at the wind and rain
A person of great spirit has a free and unrestrained character, not deeply immersed in the gains and losses of fame and fortune, with a heart unburdened. This is also the realm of Tran Mi Cong in the book Xiao Song Yu Ji: “Whether favored or insulted, they remain unafraid, admiring the falling flowers and blooming flowers at the doorstep; whether coming or going, they do not care, gazing at the clouds in their ebb and flow.” Everyone in life must go through many hardships; especially in times of storm and rain, it is even more necessary to open one's heart, smiling and saying: “Wear the raincoat and face life.” Only those who can maintain a free and unrestrained demeanor during difficult times can have a life as vast as the sea and sky. A scholar once said: “When happily smiling, one must also learn to smile in adversity.” A person of great spirit, with a broad heart, will never look back to seek the golden flowers of yesterday; they will joyfully move forward in pursuit of the shining stars of tomorrow. Whatever the matter, one should face it generously, live calmly, and happiness will always be present on their lips.
A person of great spirit does not compete or seize
Laozi wrote in the Dao De Jing: “The way of the sage is to act without contention.” A person of great spirit lives a righteous life, working hard without complaint, facing fame and fortune without competing or seizing. Therefore, it is said: “Because they do not compete, no one in the world can compete with them.” Those who achieve great careers do not contend for a word of rhetoric. Thus, to build a great career, one must first cultivate a great spirit, possessing a character as vast as the sea that accommodates a hundred rivers, a heart that embraces the sun and moon, a generous and tolerant spirit, and a demeanor that is relaxed, open, and free-spirited. A person of great spirit will naturally have a grand conclusion in life. To become a great talent and achieve great careers, one must first nurture a great spirit.