What about vegan vegetarians?
I was in a quandary after reading an article claiming that Stone Age women were better than men hunting. This idea ranked my long-distance primitive DNA. Was it another attempt at politically correct historical revisionism? Seriously! What prehistoric animal with pride would let a hunter run like a girl take it down?
Upon reflection, I realized there might be truth in that claim. I set aside my doubts and tried to understand how modern women, who are biological descendants of those who hunted saber-toothed tigers, can sit and smile while their cats shred my new sofa. Where did evolution fail us?
From what I can gather, hunting was like a prehistoric TikTok challenge. But why didn’t I know this? Why is this not mentioned in history books? More importantly, why is there no genre of prehistoric hunting porn?
Before this, my knowledge of female hunters was limited to watching movies. One Million Years B.C., Raquel Welch would have chased off an unpleasant dinosaur dressed like Beyoncé for the Grammys.
As a teenage boy, I naturally paid more attention to Raquel's cleavage than her hunting skills. However, after learning about this recent research, I began to take the subject more seriously. My main question is how did the fair sex evolve from warrior princesses in Jenna to Kim Kardashian?
Wearing fur in the Paleolithic era was considered not a crime against nature but fashion forward. Similarly, most young girls at that time did not identify as vegan vegetarians. So where did this whole “I don’t eat animals and I don’t eat me” come from? At what point in history did women decide that hunting was “yucky”?
Background
Dr. Cara Ocobock, director of the Human Energetics Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame, published research suggesting that women can metabolically perform better than men by reducing their food intake before exhausting themselves. Clearly, that Stone Age chick is worse than NFL defenses. Take that, Howie Long!