When I rearranged our belongings to fit the holiday decorations and make room for the holiday spirit to grow at home, I recalled a time when the stakes were higher. In my thirties, in a budding relationship, I encountered challenges I didn’t see coming. Small but significant to my increasingly self-aware self.
My friend Kate, a self-proclaimed interior designer, stopped by my apartment and remarked on how much she liked my chair. I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I was considering looking for a new sofa. Kate and I had spent many hours the year before selecting a sofa with the right mix of colors and textures and something else I couldn’t quite identify.
It soon became clear that I was shopping for an anchor for my new life, for a focal point and a bit of style to help me live with the return to this hometown. I needed a haven of peace and reflection that year, amidst the chaos of family and the daunting challenges of San Francisco and the glorious beauties to the new backdrop of a smaller town and the surprising comforts of home. I learned how much having my own space meant to me.
As she left, I stood in my living room and watched the bright afternoon light dance on the rainbow on the wall. I sat in the armchair soaking in the feel of my favorite room, about the space and light I loved so much. Kate was right, I thought. It looked fine in its latest position: placed serenely in front of the old fireplace in a state of clear grace, cool. With its curved back and rolled arms and pastel stripes in various patterns and fabrics, it was uniquely suited for elegant yet casual settings. I just loved it.
I realized I could hear a little on top about this piece of furniture. It had become a symbol of my recent stability, I thought. After a childhood moving from place to place and sharing smaller bedrooms than ever with three sisters, I had escaped to college and then moved around a bit in my twenties - this time, I chose when and where I would move. After two years in this space in my hometown, I felt anchored. Somehow, it all centered around that soothing sofa, no matter where I placed it in that room.