Today is the seventh day of the first lunar month, which is also my lunar birthday, but I forgot my age. When I asked friends born on the same day, the answer was: forever 18 years old.

I can't remember when I started to ignore my age; I just feel a bit sad every birthday. Is it the loneliness after the splendor? When I was young, I often sighed: what kind of ending deserves the hardships endured? As I grow older, I have lost these pretentious thoughts. Sadness is perhaps a courtesy to aging.

Aside from the change in the date on the calendar, my birthday seems no different from usual. A few days later, the Pisces new moon will be my solar birthday, but so what? There’s no one special I want to see, and I don’t want any sudden events to happen. While saying that having no hope means I won’t be disappointed, I hide a deep sense of neglect. It’s no big deal; I’ve gotten used to being overlooked. Should I buy a set of books to cheer myself up?

Early in the morning, I suddenly received a blessing message from a friend, of course not for my birthday, just a usual greeting for the year. They say the "seventh day" is quite an unusual day, rumored to commemorate Nuwa creating humans, and it’s said that those born on this day are destined to be extraordinary. Could it be true? Then what is that faint sadness in my heart?

I naturally woke up just after five o'clock, brewed coffee while steaming rice, and planned a menu of four dishes and a soup. Then I read, attended classes, and took a shower. Fortunately, the sun is shining brightly today; maybe I’ll feel inspired to go for a walk, but it’s more likely I won’t go anywhere.

The things I like are all within reach, which is a kind of security, right? How many layers of loneliness are there? Have I reached another layer? The originally faint sadness disappeared after two cups of coffee.

I struggled with whether to accept the red envelope of blessings sent by a friend; after much hesitation, I accepted it, not wanting to disappoint my friend. I remember discussing a topic with a friend before the New Year: all those who truly care about me only wish for me to get better and better. My friend said it should be so, but I discern the difference between those who truly care and those with ulterior motives. What a deep sense of unworthiness is at play here! How do I know it’s not a wake-up call after suffering too much loss?

Unknowingly, the voices of encouragement and support around me have increased. The people and things that can stir negative emotions still exist, while at the same time, they inspire me to learn to be more accommodating, adding wisdom and courage.

Suddenly, the sound of a delivery knocking on the door interrupted my thoughts. When did I order a gift for myself? Let’s travel through the tunnel of time; whether in the past or the future, I can always find the answer!

The end