All these qualities, although undeniable, if pushed to extremes, become necessary conditions for a man, even to the point of becoming a standard for evaluating a person, then perhaps that is a bit sad. The nature of life is countless shapes and always changing. If we only accept and adapt to the world around us without missing the excitement of living, then the perspective of a strong man has some moments of exploration.
1. System:
First, let us reconsider the concepts surrounding the classification system of men.
"Alpha" is a term from biology, referring to males who lead physically and mentally, often dominating and enjoying privileges compared to lower-tier males. For example, they are often prioritized in food distribution and have advantages in mating. However, so far, there is no specific evidence proving the existence of a pure alpha in human society. The "Alpha" image is often just interpretations of masculinity or anti-masculinity, not reflecting reality. For instance, Yujiro Hanma in the Baki series is often seen as entertainment or used to represent perfect masculine traits.
"Beta" refers to males who are weaker compared to "Alpha," thus they often suffer domination and loss of rights in human society. Those labeled as "Beta" are often undervalued and associated with traits such as weakness, insecurity, physical or intellectual inferiority, or low social status. However, if considered accurately, this system is not entirely correct, as "Beta" only stands behind "Alpha" and worse than "Omega." This shows a distortion in culture, causing expectations of men to be split and only chosen between two binaries, reinforcing the distinction between winners and losers.
It is certain that they oppose movements for gender equality and women's rights. They view these movements as redundant, rebellious, and foolish, arising from the tensions of the manosphere, creating another problem, which is the "incel" group (short for involuntarily celibate), referring to men who cannot engage in romantic relationships, possibly due to insecurity, or they blame women for causing their pain, thus creating hatred towards women. In summary, under the concept of misogyny and misanthropy, society in general evaluates them as failures, and in fact, there have been many violent incidents from self-identified incels, such as the case of Alex Minon deliberately driving a van into a busy neighborhood in Toronto, killing 11 people and injuring 16 others.
2. Community:
Additionally, in the manosphere community, there is the concept of "Beta bux," referring to men who are evaluated as beta, spending money on women in hopes of seeking romantic and sexual relationships. In contrast to "Alpha," there is no need to spend money on women to still have sexual relations with them. This term assumes a sexual strategy of women, whereby they prefer to have sex with Alphas but turn to Betas, mainly for financial exploitation.
Competition is inevitable, and in a relationship, there will be winners and losers, although it may not be easy to recognize. The obsession with money combined with human identity creates fetish and fantasy relationships, such as sugar daddies and sugar babies.
However, the extremely repulsive effect of the manosphere has created fierce competitive pressure, not only in society but also specifically within the male community. Such movements often disdain and oppose gender equality and feminist movements, viewing them as unnecessary and foolish. However, the consequence of this concern and tension from the manosphere is the development of another problem, which is the group of "incels" (short for involuntary celibate). This refers to men who cannot engage in romantic relationships due to insecurity or lack of self-control, and often blame women for their pain. In summary, in light of the concepts of "misogyny" and "misanthropy," society in general, and especially men, have developed fierce competitive pressure, where individuals must strive to become winners to control morality, reputation, and relationships.
However, the problem becomes more serious when we apply it to real life in Vietnam. According to research by the Institute for Social Development Studies (ISDS), Vietnamese men are under tremendous pressure regarding family responsibilities; they define their image by having to earn a lot of money, becoming capable leaders, and having high sexual capabilities to support their wives and children. This raises a big question about whether a man can meet these demands.
In general, when referring to "Alpha," sources often list a series of virtues such as strength, confidence, courage, intelligence, in a simple context and set a relatively reasonable standard. However, the real problem arises when we apply it to reality. It is important not only to consider the exterior but also to take into account external factors, such as living conditions, education, social environment, and opportunities for self-expression. These factors also determine the development and success of a man, not just external characteristics. At the same time, a multi-dimensional view of the influencing factors is needed, and their role in defining who is "Alpha" should not be downplayed.
3. Personality:
Moreover, men are often placed into unreasonable frames, such as cold, rude, or toxic personalities. This mainly stems from the inability to express masculinity accurately, leading to confusion between the concept of a real man and archetypes like "Bad Boys," "Fu boys," "violent boys," "pride boys," "patriarchal boys," "drunken boys," "teaching boys," "show-off boys," and many other types. This desire to express and be recognized creates invisible pressure, whether positive or negative, that can make men feel heavily influenced or even gradually distorted without realizing it.
A study by Southwest Mystery University on 200 men and women showed that women are also capable of getting angry and acting out in anger similarly to men. The only difference is that women are often better at controlling their anger than men, which stems from different brain mechanisms between the two genders. Another study by Robben and Brer from the University of Pennsylvania also indicated that the brain region responsible for the emotional response of anger in both males and females is similarly stimulated, while the brain region responsible for controlling anger in women is larger. This explains why women often manage to control their anger better than men.
However, those factors are never enough, as there are still many other factors affecting each person's constitution, such as social perceptions of masculinity and male privilege, education, and psychological status. On the other hand, one cannot blame the higher testosterone levels in men, as each man's response to testosterone varies greatly. Some may be aggressive, while others may appear kind or even irritable. This is just a small part of the biological mechanism and is not a permanent expression or level of control of men, as humans, beyond instinct, still possess reason, especially in situations like martial arts, where one must weigh aggression against reason to analyze and use techniques effectively and avoid traps set by opponents.
Sex is similar; many believe that men's sexual desire is higher than women's. However, a study from Salan University in Germany based on data from 600,000 individuals indicates that this may seem true but is not always the case. There are many exceptions from both genders; for example, one-third of women admit to having a higher sexual desire than the average man. Therefore, it cannot be asserted that men's desire is always higher than women's.
The concept of "real man" is also broader and more complex than merely relying on sexual desire or the act of "picking up girls" to evaluate masculinity. Many may "pick up girls" not because they genuinely want to demonstrate masculinity, but because they are imposed by society. This poses a risk of harm, as it is uncertain when acting on primal instincts and pride will become counterproductive and lead to self-destruction.
Finally, viewing alpha as an absolute standard is not only a fallacy of power but also a social structure and the very nature of our neurology. Stay calm, and do not stress too much if you do not meet these vague standards. The theory of alpha should only be seen as one aspect in self-help books, not as an absolute truth and certainly should not be used to measure a person's worth.
4. Benefits:
The hierarchy of men, despite having benefits that seemingly define roles and define masculinity, still has many gaps. First, it puts pressure on the "perfect" male standard, pushing them into fierce competition to prove their masculinity and express themselves. Second, this system does not accommodate the diversity of men and their personal desires. It also creates misconceptions about sexuality, implying that men always need to demonstrate strength and primality. Finally, it creates an unhealthy environment, promoting comparison and feelings of inadequacy among many men.