In the relationship between husband and wife, communication is a bond to maintain the emotions of the two, and it is also the key to resolving contradictions and enhanced understanding. However, in actual life, many husbands and wives will face a common problem -confrontation chat. This kind of chat method is often accompanied by emotional excitement, the sharpness of discourse, and the difficulty of communication, which brings a lot of challenges to the relationship between husband and wife.

What is confrontation chat?

Confrontation chat, as the name suggests, refers to expressed their views and needs through accusations, criticism, argument, cold war and other methods in the communication between husband and wife. This kind of chat method is usually accompanied by emotional excitement and the sharp words, which can easily lead to the dilemma of communication between the two sides, and even cause quarrels and cold war.

Case 1: The following dialogue to which restaurant to eat in the husband and wife

Husband: "How about going to eat Sichuan cuisine tonight? I haven't eaten it for a long time."

Wife: "Sichuan cuisine is too spicy, I can't stand it."

Husband: "Choose a slightly spicy one?"

Wife: "The slightly spicy is also very spicy, and Sichuan cuisine is too greasy."

Husband: "Let's go to eat Japanese materials, it's lighter."

Wife: "What are the delicious foods in Japanese, I don't like to eat it."

Husband: "Let's eat hot pot, now the weather is just right."

Wife: "The hot pot is too noisy, I don't like that environment."

Husband: "Then let's eat barbecue?"

Wife: "The barbecue oil smoke is too large, and it is not good for your body."

Husband: "Let's eat seafood meals, healthy and delicious."

Wife: "Seafood is too expensive, and I don't like to eat seafood."

Husband: "Let's eat the newly opened Thai cuisine, I heard that it is good."

Wife: "Thai cuisine is too sour, I don't like that taste."

Husband: "Let's eat Western food."

Wife: "Don't you know that I don't like to eat Western food? It's cold, there is no fireworks."

Husband: "Let's eat the home cooked restaurant nearby?"

Wife: "What are the delicious foods in the restaurant of the home, it's all ordinary dishes. It's better to eat at home."

Husband: "Then let's eat creative dishes?"

Wife: "Creative dishes are all from Huahu, not delicious."

Husband: "Then ... what do you want to eat?"

Wife: "I don't want to eat anything now, you decide!"

The confrontation chat between husband and wife in the above dialogue reflects several core reasons. These reasons may cause communication obstacles alone or together:

• The difference between personal taste and preference : There are significant differences in food taste and preferences in husband and wife. The husband proposed a variety of different types of restaurant choices, but his wife has her own reasons to reject, which reflects the differences between the two sides of the taste and preferences of food.
• Lack of understanding and respect : In the dialogue, neither side does not seem to understand and respect each other's taste and preferences. When the husband puts forward a new choice, he may not consider the feelings and needs of his wife, and the wife did not try to understand why the husband put forward these suggestions when he refused.
• The problem of communication : The communication method of both sides may be too direct and confrontation. The husband may give people a feeling of "you must accept my suggestion" when he proposed, and his wife may use too absolute and negative words when refusing, such as "I can't stand it", "I don't like to eat" wait. This method of communication can easily cause the opponent's resentment and exacerbate confrontation.
• Lack of common points and consensus : During the entire dialogue, the two sides did not seem to find any common points and consensus. Although her husband proposed a variety of options, his wife denied one by one, resulting in unable to reach a consensus. This state of lack of common and consensus has also exacerbated confrontation.
• Improper emotional management : In the dialogue, both sides may have a certain emotion. The husband may be frustrated and impatient because he cannot find a restaurant that his wife is satisfied with, and his wife may feel stressful and dissatisfied because of her husband's persistence. This improper state of emotional management can easily cause confrontation chat.

Case 2: The following dialogue between the husband and wife in the restaurant

Husband: "How about being here in Gongbao Chicken? I remember you like to eat."

Wife: "It's too oily, I don't want to eat."

Husband: "Then change a steamed fish?"

Wife: "The fish has a fishy smell, I can't stand it."

Husband: "Let's take the vegetables, health."

Wife: "What are the delicious vegetables, I don't want to eat."

Husband: "Let's come to a bowl of braised pork, it looks good."

Wife: "I don't eat fat, it's too tired."

Husband: "Try the sweet and sour pork ribs?"

Wife: "The ribs are too hard to bite."

Husband: "Let's order seafood fried rice?"

Wife: "I don't want to eat seafood."

Husband: "That's the vegetable fried rice?"

Wife: "Vegetable fried rice tasteless, I don’t eat it."

Husband: "Click a soup, drink some soup is good for your body."

Wife: "I don't want to drink soup."

Husband: "Do you want to try this new dish, it looks delicious."

Wife: "I don't eat strange dishes."

Husband: "That's home -to -family tofu?"

Wife: "Tofu has no taste, I don't like to eat."

Husband: "Would you like to cook the heart?"

Wife: "The vegetable is too old, not delicious."

Husband: "You ..."

Wife: "Okay, you order, I don't want to eat anything."

This conversation shows a typical "confrontation chat" model, especially in the situation of ordering. This model is often caused by different needs and expectations of both parties, as well as possible communication or misunderstandings.

• Demand does not match : Husband tried to order her order according to the wife's preferences or past experience, but the needs of the wife's needs are constantly changing. She does not seem to have a clear preference or desire, which has caused her husband's proposal to be unsatisfactory.
• Communication obstacle : When his wife expresses her wishes, she uses fuzzy and negative languages, such as "too oily", "too tired", "no taste", but did not give a clear alternative suggestion or solution. This makes it difficult for her husband to understand her needs accurately and increase the difficulty of communication.
• Emotional accumulation : With the progress of the dialogue, the emotions of both sides may gradually accumulate. The husband may be frustrated because he cannot meet the needs of his wife, and his wife may feel irritable because of his own needs. This emotional accumulation may lead to more confrontation.
• Lack of consensus : During the entire dialogue, neither party could find a common solution or reached a consensus. The husband's proposal is constantly denied by his wife, and his wife has not made clear suggestions or choices.

Psychological reasons for confrontation chat

1. Communication anxiety : Communication anxiety refers to the tension and anxiety caused by the individual during communication. When the husband and wife have an anxiety of communication, they may be difficult to effectively express their views and feelings, or excessive reactions to the other party's words and deeds. This kind of communication anxiety can easily cause confrontation chat, because both sides are difficult to keep calm and rational.
2. Self -decentralism : Self -decentralism means that individuals pay too much attention to their own needs and interests when thinking and behavior, and ignore the feelings and needs of others. In the communication between husband and wife, if both sides have self -center problems, confrontation chat is prone to. Everyone wants their views and needs to meet, and ignore the feelings and needs of the other party, which will lead to a deadlock.
3. Defense mechanism : In psychology, when people face threats or conflicts, they often adopt a defense mechanism to protect themselves. In the communication between husband and wife, when one party feels attacked or threatened, a defensive communication method may be adopted, such as accusations and arguments to maintain their position and dignity. This defense mechanism easily leads to the emergence of confrontation chat.
4. Emotional projection : Emotional projection means that individuals project their emotions, attitudes and beliefs on others, and believe that others have the same emotion, attitude, and belief. In the communication between husband and wife, if one party projects his dissatisfaction and anxiety such as negative emotions on the other party, it will easily cause confrontation chat. For example, when one party feels tired and irritable due to work pressure or life trivial matters, it may think that the other party does not understand himself, and it will adopt an aggressive communication method.

Confrontation chat is one of the common problems in the relationship between husband and wife, and it is often hidden behind it with complex psychological reasons. By understanding these reasons, the couple can better understand the behavior and psychological state of each other in communication. A possible solution is that the husband tries to ask his wife's needs in a more open and direct way, rather than just ordering for her based on her own judgment. For example, he can ask: "Do you have anything to eat? Or are you not eaten?" This allows his wife to express his needs more directly. Both sides also need to learn to manage their emotions in the dialogue. When you feel frustrated or irritable, you can try to breathe deeply, leave the dialogue scene temporarily, or seek third -party help to recover your emotions. Both husbands and wives can work together to improve communication, enhance understanding, reduce contradictions and quarrels, thereby establishing a healthier and harmonious relationship between husband and wife. Let us work together to make the flower of love bloom more beautiful in communication.

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