In the complex network of interpersonal communication, misunderstanding is like an inevitable storm, often sweeping. Once misunderstandings occur, they often bring emotional cracks and gaps to both parties. Although some people can return to good after the misunderstanding, most people will find that it seems difficult to get back in the state of intimacy and trusing without guessing.
1. The essence and influence of misunderstanding
The essence of misunderstanding lies in the misunderstanding of information or inadequate transmission. In interpersonal communication, due to the different cognition, experience, and cultural background of each person, there may be differences in understanding of the same thing. When this difference is enlarged or misunderstood, misunderstandings will occur. Misunderstanding will not only affect the emotional connection between the two parties, but also cause damage to the trust relationship. Once the trust is damaged, it is difficult for both parties to return to the state of free and frankly.
Second, the psychological difference between reconciliation and the beginning
(1) It is difficult to bring in psychological trauma
The psychological trauma brought by misunderstandings is often difficult to make up with words. During the misunderstanding, the two sides may experience negative emotions such as suspicion, disappointment, and anger, and these emotions will leave a deep mark in their hearts. Even if the misunderstanding is clarified, it is difficult to completely eliminate these psychological trauma. Therefore, even if the two sides can reconcile, the gap and anxiety deep in the heart still exist, making it difficult for them to return to the intimate state of the past.
1. Difficulties in trust and reconstruction
In interpersonal relationships, trust is to maintain the cornerstone of the relationship between the two parties. Once misunderstandings occur, trust will be destroyed to varying degrees. Even if the misunderstanding is clarified and the two sides have reached a reconciliation, the recovery of trust is a long and difficult process. Because the establishment of trust depends on long -term getting along and accumulation, the occurrence of misunderstandings will break this accumulation instantly, causing the relationship between the two parties to crack. Even after hard repair, it is difficult to restore to the original state of trust.
2. Psychological trauma and memory curing
Misunderstanding is often accompanied by the outbreak of negative emotions, such as anger, disappointment, sadness, etc. These emotions will leave trauma in the psychology of people, affecting the views and feelings of both sides of each other. At the same time, the moment of misunderstanding will be solidified by the brain's memory, becoming difficult to erase in the future. Even if the misunderstanding is clarified, these memories will still play a role in the subconscious, affecting both parties' cognition and attitude towards each other.
3. Frequency of cognitive deviation and understanding
Human cognition is limited. When we understand others, we are often affected by our own experience, values and prejudice. When misunderstanding, the two parties may really understand the other party's intentions and feelings due to cognitive deviation. Even if the misunderstanding is clarified, these cognitive deviations may still exist, making it difficult for both parties to return to the initial tacit understanding and understanding state.
(2) Difficulties in trust and rebuilding
Trust is one of the most valuable wealth in interpersonal relationships. Once the trust is damaged, it needs great efforts and time to rebuild. During the misunderstanding, both sides may have doubts and anxiety, and have excessive interpretation and sensitive response to each other's words and deeds. This crisis is still difficult to eliminate immediately after misunderstanding and clarification, and the two parties need to be gradually reconstructed through long -term interaction and communication. Therefore, even if the two sides can reconcile, the recovery of trust relationship is a long and difficult process.
(3) Interference of emotional memory
People often have emotional memories of the past. During the misunderstanding, the two sides may experience some unpleasant emotional experiences, which will leave deep marks in the memory. Even if the misunderstanding is clarified, these unpleasant memories will still emerge from time to time, interfere with the emotional communication between the two sides. Therefore, even if the two sides can reconcile, the emotional memory of the past will still have a negative impact on their relationship.
Third, the role of social factors
(1) Differences of cultural background
Cultural background is one of the important factors affecting interpersonal communication. People in different cultural backgrounds have differences in communication methods, value concepts, etc. These differences are likely to lead to misunderstanding. Once misunderstandings occur, due to the differences in cultural background, the two parties may be difficult to understand and accept each other's interpretation and apology. Therefore, even if the misunderstanding is clarified, it is difficult for the two sides to return to the state of unrestrained and frankly treated due to the difference in cultural background.
(2) The pressure of social expectations
People are often affected by various expectations, stress and interpersonal relationships. After the misunderstanding, the two sides may be under pressure and expectations from the people around them. The two parties may be negatively evaluated and accused from families, friends, colleagues, or society, asking them to solve the problem as soon as possible and restore the relationship. This pressure may make the two sides feel anxious and uneasy, which affects their ability to communicate and solve problems, and also affect their misunderstanding methods and results. Even if the two sides reach a reconciliation, these social pressure may leave them an indelible shadow in their hearts. Therefore, even if the two sides can reconcile, but due to the pressure of social expectations, it is difficult for them to return to the state of relaxed and carefree in the past.
(3) Changes in personal growth
Over time and the increase in personal experience, people's ideas and emotional needs will change. During and after the misunderstanding, both sides may experience many growth and changes. These changes may reduce the common and topics between them, which in turn leads to the gap and alienation of each other. Therefore, even if the misunderstanding is clarified and reconciled, but because of the changes in personal growth, it is difficult for them to return to the past intimate state.
(4) Social role and identity
In interpersonal relationships, people play different social roles and identities. These characters and identities will affect their behavior and communication style. When misunderstandings occur, the two sides may have different reactions and treatment methods due to their social roles and identity. These differences may cause the two parties to be difficult to return to their initial state after the misunderstanding.
(5) Social and cultural background differences
Different social and cultural backgrounds can lead to differences in communication methods and values. When misunderstanding occurs between people with different cultural backgrounds, these differences may make the misunderstanding more difficult to explain and clarify. Even if the misunderstanding is clarified, the two parties may be difficult to fully understand and accept each other's interpretation and apology because of the differences in cultural background.
4. How to reduce the negative effects of misunderstanding
(1) Strengthen communication and communication
Communication is the key to eliminating misunderstandings. Both sides should honestly express their thoughts and feelings, and listen carefully to each other's opinions and explanations. Through effective communication and communication, misunderstanding and suspicion can be reduced, and understanding and trust between each other can be enhanced.
(2) Respect and understanding
Respecting and understanding is an important principle of maintaining interpersonal relationships. After the misunderstanding, the two sides should respect the other party's feelings and needs, and understand each other's position and point of view. Through respect and understanding, it can reduce the occurrence of conflicts and contradictions, and promote the harmonious development of relations.
(3) Seeking third -party assistance
When the two sides cannot solve the misunderstanding by themselves, they can seek assistance from third parties. Third parties can provide objective opinions and suggestions to help both parties better understand and solve problems. Through the assistance of third parties, the negative effects of misunderstanding can be reduced, and the recovery and development of relations can be promoted.
5. Conclusion
There are often many reasons that can only be reconciled after misunderstanding between people. Factors of psychological trauma difficulty, the difficulty of trust and rebuilding, and the interference of emotional memory make it difficult for both sides to return to the intimate state of the past. At the same time, social factors such as the differences in cultural background, the pressure of social expectations, and the changes in personal growth will also have a certain impact on interpersonal relationships. In order to reduce the negative impact of misunderstandings, the two sides should strengthen communication and communication, respect and understanding, and seek third -party assistance to solve the problem and promote the harmonious development of the relationship.
This is exactly:
Misunderstanding is deeply across the mountains,
It is difficult to find the old dream.
Although it is difficult to be as good as the beginning,
Only sincerity can break.