When her grandmother died, she was 90 years old, and her relatives agreed not to cry at the funeral, letting her go with peace of mind. But I couldn't help crying in the Lingtang, crying for more than an hour, from sorrow to the end of the funeral. The nose, eyes, and face were crying.
Thanks to the guests, I want to shake hands with some important guests, such as the nephew and nephew of my grandmother's house. In order to avoid embarrassment, I lowered my head and tried my best to express her gratitude to them with a choking voice. At this time, the cousin next to him suddenly said loudly, "Thank you for your arrival!"
Because I was too sad, I fell behind after the session was over. In order not to escape the team, I followed my dad. He was a cousin (grandmother's nephew) with his father. He told his father that his grandmother died at the age of 90 and was not worth crying.
I couldn't help crying on the car back. Although it is embarrassing, I can't control it.
When I remembered that when Grandpa died, the people who participated in the funeral did not cry, because Grandpa was sick and painful for many years before his life, and everyone thought that leaving was a relief for him. Only the ex -wife of the uncle brought a group of mother -in -law's family, crying and crying. Someone asked her aunt (Grandpa's daughter), who is that, is it the daughter of the deceased? My aunt said, don't know!
In addition, Grandpa and grandmother's funeral are held in Galaxy (Funeral Pavilion). However, strange things happened in Galaxy Garden. When a family member was funeral, he suddenly got out of control and cried with strange guests, although he had reached the seating session of the guests. Some people speculate that her died mother was reluctant to think of her daughter ...
Leaving aside the ghosts and gods, I cried more than because it was too "tired" ...
I have a deep bond with my grandmother -she treats me like a treasure, and I treat her like a child.
When she was a child, she often visited my house, and she took me into the park's laughter every weekend; that summer vacation in the second grade, she even lived in my house, taught me to write, give me cooking, accompany me through the innocent years ; During the fifth grade National Day holiday, I had a sudden high fever. She did not hesitate to take care of me with her mother, a whole week.
When I grew up, I suffered from social phobia, and my grandmother also got Alzheimer's Alzheimer, so I became a friend with her lonely: Whenever a family goes out to eat, I will always sit next to her and take care of her like taking care of her children; In my spare time, I turned into a naughty little monkey, kept harassing her, trying to attract her attention, awakening her gradually blurred consciousness; at the age of 25, the grandfather's legs needed to be hospitalized for a week, and I would act as " "Teacher", accompanied her alone in the nursing home.
However, there are always parting in life, and it is unavoidable. Before her death, I had two opportunities to see her, but I missed it for various reasons ... until she died, my mother and I hurried to the hospital to "organize the bag" for her, watched her go to another one. world.
I walked into the intensive care unit where my grandmother left, silently thinking about "Amitabha" for her. This is the method of sacrifice I learned from the Internet. For those who have no religious beliefs, this can eliminate both fear and restore the deceased. In fact, I am holding a hard support, full of guilt in my heart, and I feel that there is too little time to accompany my grandmother. I was guilty and curious that I wanted to look at my grandmother, but her corpse was tightly wrapped in a quilt, and I couldn't see it.
The hospital has a service to the deceased's relics (changing clothes) and sending the corpse to the mortuary. As long as the family members give the service staff a red envelope, some of these difficult work will help. At that time, only me, mother, and aunt three women were present. We have limited strength, so we invited four nurses to help.
When the caregiver took off her grandmother's service, I witnessed her face -her face was particularly pale, but she was not scary. She closed her eyes and raised her mouth slightly, just like she was asleep. Seeing her, my fear suddenly disappeared, and it was replaced by mercy. She was coma for a long time, incontinence in urine, but no relatives have been with her, and she must suffer a lot. But she never complained, nor did she blame anyone.
At this moment, Mr. Ye, who has been waiting outside the ward for a long time, finds my mother and aunt, and wants to discuss the funeral of the grandmother with them, and show a variety of funeral packages for them for their selection.
Each floor of the hospital has a row of benches of back chairs for visiting family members to rest. There are two elevators on the left side of the bench, both of which can use these two elevators regardless of whether they are born and the deceased. At that time, the four of us were sitting on the bench. I was sitting on the far right. My mother was next to me. My aunt was in the middle. The entire wall.
As a junior, I am not easy to intervene in the decisions of the elders, and it is inconvenient to make suggestions related to funeral. On my spare time, I looked out of the window, and when I saw the dark night, and many high -rise buildings that had not yet completely turned off the lights. My heart is very emotional -those lights that have not been extinguished are like families. The people inside have a relationship of affection since birth. The love and companionship of loved ones are the first motivation to survive. dark.
My mother patted my shoulder and asked me to turn her head and listen to Mr. Ye's steps and taboos of the funeral. At this moment, a black butterfly with a large palm suddenly flew out of my grandmother's ward, flying to me at a speed of several seconds, almost piercing my eyes. However, at a place 20 centimeters away from me, it instantly dived at a 90 -degree attitude, wiped my arm, and pasted it on my mother's back.
The sudden appearance of the black butterfly surprised me. It seemed to be another incarnation of my grandmother, snuggling to us again, feeling the warmth of my daughter and granddaughter's body. When I came back, I found that the black butterfly had disappeared. Because the arrangement of the funeral is crucial, I can't interrupt the elders' ideas, so I did not tell my mother immediately.
Half an hour later, her grandmother's body was gently lifted into the stretcher, and the elevator was given priority. As a family member, we have to accompany my grandmother to take the elevator and walk to the door of the mortuary together.
The moment the elevator door was closed, Mr. Ye said softly that grandma may still perceive our voice at this moment, and we can talk to her again. However, it was 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, and I was the first time I lived in a slightly closed space with a corpse in the elevator. Therefore, although it is a grandmother, my physiological fear is still unable to curb, and my body shake unconsciously.
When my aunt saw me like this, her tone said seriously, "It's grandma, what's so scared!" My aunt's words made me feel embarrassed. In addition, the narrowness of the elevator space made me feel depressed, so I consciously buckled my filial piety hat to the unsatisfactory hat to On your own head.
Fortunately, in just 1 minute, the elevator arrived at the underground parking lot (the entrance of the mortuary after the parking lot). The moment the elevator door opened, I was relieved, as if escape from the imprisonment cage and breathed fresh air.
The person who pushed the car was attracted in front, and we followed. At the door of the mortuary, under the guidance of Mr. Ye, we bowed piously to the remains.
At that time, I used a bun to fix all hair together and fix it on the back of the head. When bowing, the air -conditioning of the mortuary blew the head of the head like a cold wind, making the scalp numb and cold. This feeling continued to go home until the ceremony was finished. Until I took the buns and long hair shawls, the symptoms of numbness and coldness were relieved.
After returning home, I have no sleepiness. So, I opened the music software of my phone and ordered a song "The Great Tragedy" (the song adapted from the Buddhist scriptures), which made the music of music lingering in my ears. Under the comfort of Le Sheng, my spirit gradually relaxed and told my mother about the black butterfly, but my mother was a firm atheist, and always said that this was just a coincidence.
However, I think it is not a simple coincidence. The appearance of the black butterfly seemed to be conveying a certain information to us. Although I can't talk to her anymore, her existence is still deeply imprinted in my heart, like a never -abrasion brand.