When she was very young, I never bother to correct the grammar on her homemade greeting card. My eldest daughter does not need to think about the resettlement of the skimming, to understand the third Sunday of June is Father's Day in our family.
The special day of celebration once belonged to my husband and me, and her homosexuality raised her father. But this year, she welcomes her third father to enter her life-her straightforward biological father. Now, she proudly announces that she is her father's daughter, and I can't help but feel possessive.
My husband and I have always prepared for my daughter's biological parents to play a role in her life. This is why we insist on adopting publicly when she was born. Within a few years, it opened the door to communicating with her biological mother. We welcome this relationship and know that we can never fill the unique role in her life.
However, it took almost 20 years of development with her father's party and relationship. Until recently, the only proof of his existence was vague booking photos and names. Her mother claimed that he had been away from the photos for many years. But I assured my daughter that he might show up one day. At the same time, my husband and I were satisfied with the school's construction cards, and the celebrated brunch was all for ourselves.
However, I search for the Internet from time to time. Except for a Facebook page that was obviously abandoned, I did not find his signs. When she was 18 years old, my daughter started her search and started from the DNA descent website. Although I searched on the Internet for 20 years, within a week, she found a cousin, then the position of her birth father, and finally his phone number.
I remember listening from the room next door when she was talking to him. I was going to jump in in the first troubles-maybe she was accused of being abandoned, or maybe her sadness or anger tears. Instead, I heard her talk to him in an excitement and almost naive way, but he called his father. It has been a long time since I heard her use this tone. After many years of listening, the teenagers have lost their temper, and now they are young adults, which caught me off guard.
As their dialogue continued, I glanced at their development relationship. She called him about school, her friends, financial conditions, and advice to dating frequently. You know nothing about dating women, and she laughed at me. That's right, I admit it. But I can't help but be cut by EM in some way. I know this is too ridiculous, but this seems to be this mysterious man not only challenging my father, but also my man's spirit.
My husband and I decided to take a step back to make room for him. But over time, I don't seem to stay in the background. She and her birth father disagreed with some things several times, and she called and asked me. When this happened, it felt like she was trying to make us compete with each other. Although I think she is wrong, I think I must prove my loyalty, so I agree with her. At the same time, I also found that I was expressing my unpopular view of things. Usually, at a time of hesitation, I may tell my daughter "just ask your father", which will give her a final ruling to her husband. But now, I am not sure where she might seek requests and attractiveness.
For the first time in my life, I learned about the feelings and attention of women. When my daughter faced her biological father, the most vivid example was to suddenly point the screen to me and ask me if I want to say hello. I feel embarrassed and confused. What should I say? How should I introduce myself? Why do I feel that I am showing him? Or did she show me him? I murmured and forgive myself.
When she hung up the phone, the angel -like smile she had frowned for him. She was impolite to him and she scolded. I tried to defend myself, but deep in my heart, I knew she was right. I have always been like a straight man, jealous of someone trying to steal "my girl". What is also worse is that I always feel that he seems to be a stable proposal. Before talking to her, he should seek my blessings. I want him to ask, "Can I be your daughter's father?"
Slowly, I started to see that my situation was no different from many other adopted father or stepfather, homosexual or straightforward situation. All of us want to believe that our unconditional love and support has brought us the special proposition of the heart of our child. I naturally feel that it is natural to over -protect her.
But I also realize that this is a deeper thing for me. For many years, I have been searching for my biological father-a white man has met for a brief encounter with my black mother. However, when I grow up, I do n’t have the Internet to search for a name or picture. Therefore, I have to admit that I might be jealous, not my daughter's father, but she, because she finally found what I never know.
When my daughter was about to meet in herself, she chose me when she chose my emotions while helping her travel to Ohio. I told her to keep an open mind and keep her expectations. I reminded myself to do so.
On the day of the party, her birth father and I unknowingly hovered and each other, just like a boxer in the game. Our height is the same, but he is more slimmer, at least ten years younger than me. I feel scary, because he walks most of the confidence of most straight men. I saw his daughter's eyes, and they shared the same medium brown skin. Although I am a mixed race, for many years, my fair skin has made me look consciously different from the black daughter. Therefore, for her, for him, it was mainly for myself. I swollen my chest, reduced my voice, and exuded his stretching palm, keen to show off my "black kindness". My daughter rolled her eyes .
When we were sitting in the restaurant, I watched their relaxed jokes that they continued through telephone development. They joked that their different menu choices, he proudly introduced her to a cousin and a family friend who accidentally worked there. I suddenly thought that this was the celebration of his Father's Day. She brought his gift-the copy of the photo showed that she grew up without him. Ironically, I insist that I send him to this brunch. Although he didn't say too much between him and me, when we got up, he thanked my food and became a father.
In the next few days, I spent most of my time in the hotel because he crowded our daughter in the town, introduced her for a long -term half brothers and sisters, and was happy for members of the big family. She is full of stories and inner peace every night, and I have not noticed her for many years. On her last night, she entered my hotel room, bounced on my bed, hugged me, and thanked me for no such possessive performance. At that moment, I came to see that she did not belong to me, my husband or her biological father. She is her own woman.
She is confident in identity as her three father. In the process of reuniting with her father, I became more confident in all the identities I carried-homosexual, adoptive father, and even a sonless son.
The phone between my daughter and her biological father has been continuing since we visited, and he said he visited her this fall. I don't think I can see him. Several words we exchanged at lunch may be the most conversable conversation in history, it doesn't matter. He has his own connection with our daughter. We do not need to negotiate the boundaries of our father/daughter's relationship, because we all know the sneak bond with her.
Therefore, the days of this father, I will thank the daughters who claim to be our parents. This is a straight man who makes me a gay father, and now the love of all of us.