Frankness and cleverness are two important characteristics that cannot be lacking if we want to succeed. Frankness helps you confidently express your opinions, while cleverness helps others understand you and everything can be smoothly done according to your own will. Both frankness and cleverness are necessary, but what's important is how we combine them. Speaking frankly may often hurt feelings, but frank feedback will help us recognize our limitations in order to overcome and improve.
Frank people are real, they speak the truth. They say things that no one dares to say, but they will never say unnecessary things. You should be frank but with moderation, at the right time and place, and depending on the audience. Being too straightforward is not good, it may even make others resentful. Frankness helps the work we are doing go smoothly, but if we are not tactful, it can lead to disagreements. Just leading the conversation gently will make the listener feel comfortable and at ease. This also helps find solutions to any difficulties. Being too straightforward can break relationships, so being tactful is never a disadvantage. You must know how to behave appropriately in each situation.
To ensure things go well, we should choose appropriate words that suit the context and the listener. In both life and work, we need to know how to adjust our behavior, sometimes being frank is necessary. However, there are situations where we must know how to avoid causing harm to others. It is an art of communication and behavior that everyone should know. If you want to be respected and loved, you should follow the rules of being frank and clever. Those who are frank but clever have experienced complex situations, so they have a lot of experience in receiving and transmitting information. They understand what the listener needs and how to achieve what they want. Being clever in communication, gentle in behavior with a sincere heart is what you should do.
Listening helps you understand what others are thinking and the situation to make appropriate judgments. You can hide lies, but sincerity cannot be hidden. Willingness to point out others' mistakes, courage to only criticize your own mistakes is the wisest way to behave. Learning how to behave in life and in communication is a lesson for all of us. Knowing how to behave cleverly helps us confidently overcome any obstacles. Perhaps everyone will hear a phrase like this at least once in their life: "I'm straightforward, so whatever I say, I hope you won't take it to heart. Or I'm straightforward, I'm used to speaking my mind and then forgetting."
Many people confuse being frank with being rude and use words that harm others. Communication is extremely important and requires attention. To show your straightforward personality without crossing the line, we know that being frank is a good quality that not everyone has. However, straightforward people often pay little attention to others' feelings and focus only on their own words, which can sometimes hurt the other person. So how can we speak honestly without causing harm to others or difficulties for ourselves? Let's see the following secrets.
1. Do not casually share your joys and sorrows
Professor Mark Baolin once said that one of the signs of mature people is when they realize that 99% of what happens to them and others is meaningless. Living in this world is like a fish in hot and cold water, only it knows. There is a story like this: After being promoted, Tuan hosted a much more lavish feast than before. So he decided to invite close colleagues to a meal, but on that day, they all had various reasons to refuse. In the end, they gathered around one table, and during the meal, everyone was laughing and talking happily, but the words were somewhat sarcastic. I didn't realize that you were so good, huh? Don't forget about us when you become a leader. Is there a back door? I didn't even notice that you were so talented. Tuan expected sincere congratulations from everyone, but the party was filled with envy and jealousy. For example, based on what he was promoted for, Tuan said it was the meal that made him feel the most uncomfortable.
In fact, no matter how we admit it, there is always an obvious truth: in this world, besides our parents, few people truly hope that we live better than them. Therefore, boasting about our happiness sometimes touches on the pain of others, like telling them to envy us, then adding trouble for ourselves. Sharing joy with the wrong person will turn it into boasting, sharing sorrow with the wrong person will become a joke for the public. Indeed, in life, 10 parts are not as desired, aren't there still one or two good parts? Intelligent people have long adjusted the process of maturing to a silent regime, not casually sharing their joys and sorrows. They share with close friends and enjoy those moments together.
2. Do not poke at others' weaknesses
In life, there are many who like to laugh at others' pain. They take advantage of your despair and hopelessness to mock and add salt to your wounds, and most of these people have no good intentions. No matter how they acted before, they always hide their malice towards you, so the educated person is not someone who eats without doing anything, but when others are unfortunately making soup, they don't stare at them, not tearing into others' weaknesses. A good heart may seem small but it can warm someone's whole life.
Living in a world of bright colors also has dark and gray tones. When we don't need comfort or temporary sympathy, we simply want those around us not to disturb, not to poke, not to speak out, just simply silence.
3. Do not belittle others' abilities as education
Beside you, are there people like this or not? Behind others who are successful, they say they go through the back door. Behind those who are beautiful and charming, they say they are just mobile flowers, without any talent. Behind those who have outstanding academic achievements, they say they are bookworms who don't know anything about life. People like that always belittle others to elevate themselves without realizing that speaking ill of others behind their backs is also denying themselves. Respecting your opponent is respecting yourself. Everyone should try to shine in life, but never shine at the expense of extinguishing others. Recognizing what you don't know is the starting point of knowledge.
4. Do not gossip about others as a guideline
In our lives, there are only three things. The first is our own business, something we can manage. The second is other people's business. The third is God's business, which is beyond our capabilities. People often feel troubled because they like to manage others' affairs and worry about God's affairs. In fact, if you want to live freely and easily, it's not difficult, just take care of your own business, mind other people's business less, and don't worry about God's business. Life is short, don't quarrel with anyone, live like a lamp that shines in its own house.
Don't gossip about others and then have a restless sleep. If you can't see the big picture, everything is a problem, living without a vision will only lead to trivial matters. Focus on yourself in life, but also accept others, avoid unnecessary involvement, don't need to criticize. Small details that don't affect the big picture don't need to be pointed out to others.
There is a rule that people should not live too complicatedly. Our world is simple, but human beings' complex thoughts make society more difficult. Complex thoughts always make simple things complicated. Everyone's life is different, and their perceptions are even more different. We are not philosophers who can see the world through a drop of water, nor are we saints who can feel life from a flower.