Shanghai is a prosperous city, and behind its prosperity lies many peculiar stories. One news report tells of a 30-year-old man and a 28-year-old female PhD who, after getting married, found themselves in a situation where the man eagerly wanted to consummate the marriage, but the woman calmly presented a contract, insisting on a shared expenses arrangement, stating that if he did not sign, they would sleep in separate rooms. Although the man was unhappy, he signed the agreement, and soon after, the female PhD gave birth to a baby boy. At this point, she wanted to abolish the shared expenses arrangement, but the man refused.

After sending off the last batch of friends and family, Xiao Zuo hurried to take a shower, feeling very happy as he thought about the wedding night.

After finishing his shower and climbing into bed, just as he was about to consummate the marriage, the bride pushed him aside, looking displeased.

Xiao Zuo instinctively sniffed his arm and asked in confusion, "What's wrong? I don't smell bad."

Xiao Zuo knew his wife had a cleanliness obsession, so seeing her disgusted expression made him curious. Unexpectedly, his wife's next action shocked him.

His wife took out a pre-prepared shared expenses agreement and said seriously, "This is the shared expenses agreement I drafted. If you agree, we can have a normal married life; if you don't, we will sleep in separate beds."

Upon seeing the agreement, Xiao Zuo's desire immediately diminished by half. He wanted to refuse, believing that implementing a shared expenses arrangement between spouses would distance their relationship. Spouses should be in sync and support each other; what was this all about?

However, his wife's next words left him speechless. She said, "My net income is around 16,000 to 17,000 a month, which is stable, while you only make about 8,000 a month. Therefore, we should earn and spend separately; what’s yours is yours, and what’s mine is mine. We must be clear about this to avoid confusion."

Xiao Zuo felt somewhat dissatisfied and muttered, "Why should spouses be so calculative?"

Just after muttering that, Xiao Zuo was almost kicked off the bed. Helpless, he had to agree and signed the shared expenses agreement, filled with various complex emotions, and completed the consummation.

Xiao Zuo is a handsome and talented man, but his marriage journey has been very bumpy. His peers have already had children, while he is still going on blind dates. His parents are overwhelmed, arranging various matchmaking opportunities for him.

Perhaps fate intervened; at a friend's gathering, Xiao Zuo was immediately attracted to this female PhD. Their eyes met, and sparks flew between them.

Thus, the two naturally fell into a passionate romance. However, during their courtship, they did not discuss the so-called shared expenses agreement, and unexpectedly, it became a dampener on their wedding night.

Perhaps because his wife worked in a foreign company, her thinking was influenced by Western ideas, believing that the shared expenses arrangement, which originated in the West, was perfectly normal. However, although Xiao Zuo chose to accept it, as a traditional man, he felt that he and his wife were more like roommates, which made him very uncomfortable.

However, a year later, with the birth of their son, his wife began to regret the shared expenses agreement she had drafted. She felt she was giving more but not receiving the expected return. Yet, since it was her own agreement, she insisted on sticking to it out of a sense of contractual obligation.

However, unforeseen circumstances arose. After her maternity leave ended and she returned to work, she became very anxious when faced with no one to take care of the child at home. Xiao Zuo suggested having their parents come to help, but his wife thought that was inappropriate and insisted on hiring a nanny, taking care of the child at night herself.

Due to not being able to rest well at night, his wife's mental state deteriorated, leading to frequent minor mistakes at work, which angered the company, ultimately resulting in her dismissal.

Having lost her source of income, she had to reconsider the shared expenses arrangement and asked her husband to cancel it. However, upon receiving this request, Xiao Zuo immediately refused.

In Xiao Zuo's view, his wife was being hypocritical, wanting to have it both ways. Since it was her drafted agreement and both parties had signed it, they should adhere to it. Just because a situation became unfavorable for her did not mean it should be canceled.

Xiao Zuo's firm refusal to budge stemmed from a more distressing incident. Once, when his father fell ill and was hospitalized, he borrowed money from his wife, who not only demanded a written IOU but also insisted on interest, leaving him feeling mixed emotions.

So, from a legal perspective, how should this situation be viewed?

Xiao Zuo's wife, having lost her income, asking him to bear their son's support costs is legal.

According to the Civil Code, parents have the obligation to support and educate their children. If parents fail to fulfill their support obligations, minor children or children who cannot live independently have the right to demand support from their parents.

Even if Xiao Zuo were to divorce, the custodial parent has the right to demand that the other party pay part or all of the living and educational expenses. Therefore, after his wife lost her job, her request for him to bear living expenses is reasonable and legal, and Xiao Zuo has no right to refuse.

At the same time, Xiao Zuo is also obligated to pay for his wife's living expenses.

Article 1059 of the Civil Code states that spouses have the obligation to support each other. If one party fails to fulfill their support obligation, the other party has the right to demand support payments. The obligation of support between spouses is an important component of the marital relationship and a material expression of their shared life.

So, is the shared expenses arrangement between spouses legal in China?

Article 1650 of the Civil Code states that spouses can agree that property acquired before marriage and during the marriage belongs to each party.

Therefore, spouses can agree to implement a shared expenses arrangement, but it is recommended to confirm and retain it in written form. Once agreed upon, each party's property can be freely disposed of, which is a right granted to spouses by law.

However, such a shared expenses agreement is not without its limitations. Legally, while spouses can agree that property belongs to each party, many matters in a marriage are not merely about property; they are more about emotions, responsibilities, and commitments.

Xiao Zuo's wife's shared expenses agreement may have been intended to protect their respective property rights, but in practice, it has caused many inconveniences and conflicts. Especially after having children, family expenses and responsibilities have significantly increased, and if they continue to insist on a shared expenses arrangement, it can easily lead to misunderstandings and estrangement between spouses.

Xiao Zuo's refusal to cancel the shared expenses arrangement after his wife's unemployment, to some extent, is a commitment to their agreement. But it also reveals his misunderstanding of the responsibilities and commitments in marriage. Marriage is not just a contract for two people to live together; it is also a connection of emotions and a sharing of responsibilities. In the face of difficulties and challenges, spouses should work together and face them together, rather than acting independently.

For his wife, she may have focused too much on personal independence and the protection of property rights, neglecting the importance of mutual support and shared responsibilities in marriage. Her request to cancel the shared expenses arrangement after losing her job, while seemingly out of necessity, also reflects her insufficient understanding of the responsibilities and commitments in marriage.

On this issue, both spouses need to engage in deep reflection and communication. They need to recognize that marriage is a shared endeavor that requires effort and contribution from both sides. In the face of difficulties and challenges, they should work together and face them together, rather than acting independently. Only in this way can their marriage be long-lasting and stable.

At the same time, this also serves as a reminder: before signing any agreement, one should think carefully and fully consider various possible situations and consequences. Especially for important matters like marriage, it should be treated with caution, and decisions should not be made lightly. After all, marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires careful management and maintenance.