Before getting married, I told my husband in advance, I may not be able to have children.

Because I have had fundus disease before, I took a lot of hormones, and there was a problem with endocrine, so let my husband have a preparation, don't hold too much hope. It may be because my husband loves me. He had no opinion on this, but was anxious to marry me home.

But after the marriage, my husband has been doing "ideological work" for me, saying that having a child is the right of a woman and a necessary condition for the family. It is also said that in their hometown, women who do not have children will be joked. In fact, he just like other men and wants to pass on to generation.

Unexpectedly, I was pregnant four months after marriage. Because I didn't plan to ask for a child, I also did some dangerous things, such as moving heavy objects and drinking hypertoscope tea. It was too late when I knew that I was pregnant. Two weeks later, the child did not keep it.

It was sad to lose my child. First of all, the response during pregnancy was too strong. Specific insomnia, nausea, not wanting to eat, and poor anxiety asked me half of my life, and then after knowing the results of the abortion, the spirit was hit.

During the operation, what the mother in the bed was shocked by the bed in the bed. She said proudly that it was difficult for others to conceive, but she was easy, but she had to go to the hospital often to "do". However, some women in the live broadcast room demanded that the mother who had a miscarriage read their special scriptures and repented their sins.

On the one hand, there is no physiological fear, on the other hand, to make money, to push the responsibility of miscarriage to the "mentor" of the mother. In the face of these two extremes, my mentality collapsed. I gathered the courage and asked those anchors who sold the scriptures: "Isn't the child willing to stay, is it my fault?" I asked, and the person who shouted "ashamed" just closed his mouth immediately, and the anchor's face changed. I probably want to answer me who affects her money.

At this time, a netizen responded to my question, she said, "Life is not easy, can't raise children, is it for the child to suffer?" The anchor stopped and replied, "Although I don't know what you have experienced, but Poor people must have hatred, children are innocent. "

When I heard this, I almost couldn't help it. Some people don't even let go of the mother who lost their children in order to make money, which is really chilling. Those women in the robe, who claim to be morally morally guardians, regardless of everyone's actual situation and blindly ask mothers to regret. They forgot that life is not smooth sailing, and everyone has their own helplessness.

Mom sees me sad and persuaded me: "For your mother, your health is the most important. It is not important to be able to give birth to a child. If you give birth to your child, you can no longer be stuffed back to your stomach. Don't listen to those messy children throughout your life, take a decisiveness! "

Recently, I saw two more videos about pregnancy. One was a blogger crying that he was always unable to get pregnant and disappointed his mother -in -law. The other is that the instructor explained that the abortion was not good from the perspective of metaphysics. He said that abortion will bring a lot of discomfort. The baby spirit will entangle mother, destroy what mother wants the most, and even not let the mother get pregnant again.

I left a message on these two videos. I encouraged infertility to be strong, telling her that she would have a lot of pressure (such as spiritual and physiological levels), so that she cherishes her current beauty (the mother -in -law takes care of her, treats her as a daughter), and maintains a stable mentality. Then, I criticized those videos that let mothers regret recitting, saying that they would only make the mothers more chaotic.

After abortion, I became more tough, but it was far worse than the mother of the 60s and 70s. If compared with my grandmother's generation, it was like a joke.

The grandmother and grandmother are the new women who have entered the new era from the old age. They still think that obedience to her husband and Chuanzong is a matter of justice. Therefore, they can endure the bad temper and derailment of her husband and never mention divorce.

Although in the broken families, they will still have children, mainly for pension, because in the thousands of years of filial piety culture in my country, filial piety to parents and let their children's elderly be sent to the end. There is another reason for having a child to keep her husband's heart. Otherwise, the neighbors will make them unable to raise their heads, and the husband's face will be lost. In that case, there will be more reasons for domestic violence and affair.

Although filial piety is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, it has been an important principle of taking care of the elders for thousands of years, but human nature is complicated, and parents are no exception. They have their own preferences. Phenomenon of eccentricity. Children's nature is also different (some selfish, some kind, some success, some decadent), so they have their own differences in taking care of their parents and handling family relations. In the emotional contest, there may be children who can only pay but are not treated with their parents and brothers and sisters. Those children who are specially taken care of are usually sweet, but they are rarely paid.

My mother is a post -60s. The reason for giving birth to me is very special. Interestingly, when I asked her, she said casually. In fact, she paid a lot of effort for me to grow up healthy, and even had postpartum depression and long -term insomnia.

After I was born, I cried every day. As soon as I left my mother, I cried. I am the most difficult to entangle in the evening. My mother must hold me and endure my father's complaint: "Hold the child, don't let her cry, I will go to work tomorrow!" When he was a kid, as soon as he hugged me, I laughed at him.

I was doubtful, and I didn't know who hurt me the most until the day of miscarriage. At that time, my parents accompanied me to the hospital. My mother always took care of me, but my father was always playing with his mobile phone. I was about to collapse, and he was still watching the phone, as if there were no one. At that moment, I deeply felt my mother's care, and I was disappointed with my father.

My dad has an old classmate. In the early 1990s, when the family planned was strict, he wanted to have a son, but he gave birth to two daughters. Recently, my dad met him. He showed off his daughter's marriage. He was traveling everywhere now. My dad listened, and was unbalanced in my heart. I blame my husband and me, and I couldn't let him enjoy it.

Some parents of the 60s and 70s are really not competent enough, they neither want to take care of their children, but also hope that their children will be with themselves; they will not only feel that other children's children are good, but also hope that their children have a good chance, and then return to themselves.

This generation of mothers is very hard. They feel that taking care of children and housework is a major masculinity. In addition, in a "only one good" environment, their motherly love broke out and gave all their pets to the only children.

With the aging population, experts have suggested that the second and third babies have been suggested. But in reality, the threshold for recruitment of public institutions and enterprises is constantly improving, and many undergraduates and master students cannot find a suitable job. They had to choose to do takeaway, online car driver or security, etc., and no technical or salary work.

Since reality is so difficult, it is better to choose "lying down"!

The post -90s and post -00s were originally a baby at home. Many "little princes" have not experienced social sharpening, and it is not easy to find a stable job. And the "little princess" is used to the life of food and clothing, and they are willing to suffer for love with the "prince", which is great.

When the "Prince" and "Princess" form their families, they have to take care of the four elderly people and raise a child. For many people, the pressure is indeed very great. In the face of this situation, many young couples began to think: Should they follow social expectations and continue to expand the size of the family, or choose a more practical and more satisfactory lifestyle?

In my opinion, having children not only satisfy family expectations or social pressure, but also the consensus and sense of responsibility of both husband and wife. If both husbands and wives are eager for children and are willing to take responsibility and dedication, then having a child is a thing worth celebrating. But if the husband and wife do not have this willingness or cannot achieve this wish for various reasons, then they do not need to feel guilty or blame themselves for this.

Choosing to have children or choosing not is the personal freedom and rights. We should respect everyone's decision. At the same time, we should also reflect on the impact of traditional family concepts and social pressure on people, and strive to create a more tolerant, understanding and supporting environment.