On the stage of life, everyone is their own director and protagonist. In the face of a fast-paced society and the constant emergence of challenges, how to adjust one's mindset and control emotions to become a better self is a topic that each of us needs to confront.
The importance of control in life is self-evident, just as a good dancer can precisely control the movement of every part of their body, managing each muscle to accurately express every action. Experts use control to achieve personal goals and dreams.
First, self-control is the art of emotional management. For a person to achieve something in life, they first need to have stable emotions. Master of emotional management, Mr. Qiang, has revealed that emotional management is an important component of self-control, requiring people to adjust themselves from the following three aspects:
1. Establish the determination to be responsible for oneself: Recognize the impact of one's emotions and behaviors on oneself and others, and thus take on the responsibility of managing emotions.
2. Change the binary thinking of positive or negative: Learn to see the gray areas in life, accept the reality of coexistence of positives and negatives, and deal with complex and changing emotional states.
3. Define life ideals: Clarify one's goals and vision, which will provide direction and motivation for our emotional management.
These three aspects can help us better control the rhythm of our lives, better engage in self-exploration and understanding, and live out our life goals with composure.
Additionally, regarding self-control, the renowned American personality psychologist Professor Mischel, through in-depth research in the fields of personality structure, process, development, and self-control, can also provide us with valuable insights and guidance. His marshmallow experiment, a simple yet far-reaching psychological experiment, reveals the close connection between self-control and personal future achievements.
In Professor Mischel's marshmallow experiment, children were given a choice: to receive one marshmallow immediately or to wait a while to receive two. Those who could wait demonstrated stronger self-control. Follow-up studies showed that these children performed better in academic achievements, social skills, health, and self-worth as they grew up.
If we miss the best period for cultivating "delayed gratification" in childhood, it does not mean there is no hope. This requires us to recognize the value of self-control in the quality of life, to identify the thinking and behavior patterns in our lives that need adjustment, such as a tendency to consume or to indulge in instant gratification while surfing the internet, which are not conducive to our development in self-control. Once we see our patterns, we need to adjust them with new thoughts and actions.
If instant gratification stimulates the secretion of dopamine, leading to addictive feelings and behaviors, then delayed gratification produces endorphins. When we successfully control and manage our desires and emotions, the resulting sense of achievement stimulates the secretion of endorphins, which not only brings pleasure but also keeps our bodies in a stable state, and stability is essential for sustainable development. By the way, endorphins are endogenous peptides secreted by the body that have analgesic effects.
The results of Professor Mischel's marshmallow experiment bear a striking resemblance to the Chinese traditional culture's saying "Abstain from desires to attain calmness, and calmness leads to wisdom." This is not only a psychological verification of traditional Chinese wisdom but also provides us with a way to achieve personal growth through self-control.
Whether it is a pianist, a sports champion, or a dancer, experts in these fields demonstrate exceptional control. They not only strive for excellence in their skills but also achieve outstanding levels in emotions, mindset, and goal pursuit. Their stories tell us that becoming a master of control is key to realizing personal potential and dreams.
When we possess control over our emotions and have a high level of self-awareness, we will focus all aspects of life on how to better become ourselves—whether it is in perfecting our character, developing our potential, enhancing our creative talents, or achieving our life goals, we will run towards the benchmark as taught by the true book.
A true master of self-control is someone who deeply understands and experiences the relationship between their inner beliefs and external realities. Here are a few deep understandings of this state:
1. The power of belief: A true master of self-control understands the impact of belief on reality. They believe in the reality they create, and this belief empowers them to shape their world.
2. Inner harmony: Their inner world is consistent with their external behavior. This harmony comes from profound self-understanding and acceptance; they know who they are and what kind of person they want to become.
3. Manifestation ability: Masters of self-control can transform their inner beliefs into reality. They manifest their beliefs into visible results through their actions, words, and thoughts.
4. Self-illumination: They are like a light source, illuminating not only their own path but also the paths of those around them. Their inner light attracts similar frequencies, creating a positive and supportive environment.
5. Experience and practice: Masters of self-control strengthen their beliefs through continuous practice and experience. They are not just thinkers but also doers, experiencing and validating their beliefs through practical actions.
6. Continuous self-growth: They recognize that self-control is an ongoing process that requires constant learning and adaptation. They welcome challenges and changes as opportunities for growth and progress.
7. Influencing others: The very existence of masters of self-control has an impact. They inspire others through their behaviors and attitudes, helping others find their own control.
8. Connection with the world: They have a profound connection with the world, able to perceive and respond to changes in their surroundings. This connection allows them to find opportunities in change and guide themselves and others forward.
The existence of masters of self-control proves the importance of personal inner strength and how this strength translates into positive changes in the real world. Their lives vividly demonstrate the relationship between belief, action, and results, inspiring all of us to pursue a higher self.
As shown above, control is an inner strength that helps us succeed in all aspects of life. By learning how to manage emotions, set goals, and persevere, we can all become masters of our own lives, continuously surpassing ourselves, influencing and transforming others, and achieving greater accomplishments. Let us start today to cultivate and enhance our control, moving towards a happier life of self-realization.