In the past, many rural people had a low cultural level, and some were even illiterate. Their thoughts were relatively backward. After the reform and opening up, the marital status of these people also showed different appearances. In this article, I use the example of the real cultural poverty in rural marriages of the past to explore a history of blood and tears.

The first type is the violent tendency of culturally impoverished marriages. This is a relatively common state of cultural poverty in marriage. They stubbornly believe that only violence can subdue women who have different intentions. When they encounter problems, they do not use reasoning but resort directly to violence, completely disregarding the consequences.

There was a couple who fell in love freely, but I am not clear about the specific process. However, after getting married, they often quarreled, and each time, neighbors and relatives had to intervene to mediate, which only temporarily calmed things down. However, when the man drank, his temperament became uncontrollable, and he would immediately enter a state of quarrel, leading to physical fights.

Once, after drinking at home, they started fighting. The woman, naturally unable to fight back against the man, ran towards the door, shouting for help from the elders.

At that time, I was about nine years old and happened to pass by. It was just getting dark, and every household had just turned on their lights. The woman was running in front, and the man was chasing behind. Finally, the man jumped up and kicked the woman in the back. Due to the force of inertia, the woman was kicked off her feet and fell to the ground, unconscious and motionless.

I was also terrified; the man was too ruthless. Upon seeing this result, the man did not stop to save his wife but turned around and left, returning home.

At this moment, some elders and other aunts rushed over, some with flashlights, some starting first aid. However, their strength was not enough, leading to no effect, and the woman's body was beginning to stiffen, her legs and arms straightening, and her life force was gradually fading away.

At that time, my father also came over. He felt that there was a difference between men and women and did not dare to step forward to help. The elderly women struggled for a while but lacked the strength to bend the woman's stiff legs and arms. At this moment, one elderly woman anxiously said, "Hurry up and help! How can you just stand there at this time?"

Upon hearing this, my father immediately joined the rescue efforts. The woman's stiff body was forcibly bent, and after a few minutes, she finally regained her breath and began to cry.

If my father had not been present, and if he had always been hindered by the gender difference and feared others' gossip, this woman might have lost her life. We judge the matter, not the person. The husband's reckless violence is certainly wrong, and after the incident, he left without caring, regardless of how justified he felt, it was unacceptable.

Both of them were culturally impoverished individuals, seemingly not having graduated from elementary school. Therefore, for the man, he might just think that hitting his wife is justified. For the woman, it is also difficult for her to use legal means to protect her marriage because once she resorts to the law, given their understanding, the consequences could be even more unpredictable.

At that time, I was studying in a township middle school, and the man's mother-in-law often came to the school to inquire about their marital situation. As a student, I naturally could not influence their marriage, so I deliberately avoided some matters. After returning, I found the woman and informed her about her mother coming to the school to ask about their marital situation, detailing what I had said.

Although I was young at that time, I seemed to have a bit of a talent for persuasion. I remember once when I was watching TV at their home, the couple started arguing again, and it seemed like it was going to escalate into a fight. I quickly persuaded them, and in the end, they both felt embarrassed to continue arguing.

For these violent marriages, lack of education is certainly a significant reason, but more often, it is their lack of effective communication. They often consider problems from their own perspective without realizing the other person's grievances, leading to escalating conflicts that develop into direct violence.

Therefore, marriage requires frequent communication, exchanging positions, and often thinking from the other person's perspective to avoid many ineffective communications. Empathy is a good way to resolve violent marriages.

The second type is the irrational culturally impoverished marriage. This type of irrational culturally impoverished marriage is relatively common, and they are more obsessed with their own feelings or are emotional.

Generally speaking, in such couples, one party is particularly dominant and never feels that the other party is worth cherishing. Whether in front of others or during their interactions, they always use various means to mentally suppress the other party. As a result, outsiders may add fuel to the fire, encouraging them to destroy their marriage.

Such families are usually quite poor, and they may randomly destroy family wealth due to emotional outbursts. For example, just when it is time to eat, if the woman suddenly feels unhappy, her emotions escalate, and she ends up throwing all the food away, even smashing pots and pans to pieces. Then she mocks the man for being useless. In such a situation, everyone is left hungry and in a bad mood. If the man shows any sign of discontent, the woman becomes even angrier, hitting him with a stick or a rattan. If the man does not fight back, she will call him a coward. If the man finally cannot help but retaliate, she will feel even more wronged, thinking that marrying this man was a mistake, leading to crying, tantrums, and chaos in the family.

She never considers her in-laws as true relatives; she always believes that only her siblings and parents are family. Therefore, she will generously contribute her in-laws' wealth to her own family, and if she suffers, she will blame the man for being useless. If the man truly is useless, she will believe her words even more. At this point, if anyone says her man is useless, she will agree, feeling truly wronged, as if shallow waters cannot support fish.

In such an emotional marriage, the woman not only lacks financial awareness but also immediately squanders any wealth she comes into contact with, keeping the family's wealth in a state of extreme poverty. Therefore, no matter how much wealth this family has, it will ultimately decline, let alone a family that is not originally affluent.

Compared to this emotionality, what is even more fatal is her strong desire for face, which often leads her to be deceived, dragging the entire family into deception. However, once these bad things happen, she has no good means to protect the family's interests, and her lack of intelligence exacerbates the family's plight. Such families are bound to be poor.

Unlike the violent culturally impoverished marriage, the dominant party in this type rarely recognizes their mistakes and may never understand the root of the problem in their lifetime. They harbor resentment towards the wealthy and are indignant about their impoverished life. Once someone flatters them, they will not hesitate to be deceived. Therefore, if such a housewife holds the power in the family, the outcome is often tragic.