Love is like a warm sunlight, which illuminates the path of our movement; it is moisturizing like drizzle, so that our hearts can nourish. However, when this love loses its deserved and boundaries, it may turn into a double -edged sword, which hurts and hurts himself. This phenomenon is particularly significant in parent -child relationships. Many parents, because of deep love and care for their children, often unconsciously fall into a misunderstanding of excessive doting or ignoring indifference. They either deprive their children's space for independent growth in the name of love; or because of busy life trivial and ignoring the child's inner emotional needs. So we can't help asking: Love, why sometimes it hurts? The reason behind this is exactly the expression of love lacks the wisdom of "relaxation". Zhang is to give children the necessary support and guidance, so that they will bravely move forward on the road of growth; relaxation is to let the children go to experience, explore, and cultivate their ability to independence. Only by finding the proper balance between the two can love truly become the help of children's growth.

1. Excessive and deficiencies of love

1. Harm of overlying love

Parents often do everything for them for excessive protection and love for their children. However, this seemingly selfless love has actually deprived the children's opportunities to grow independently, making them a flower in the greenhouse, and it is difficult to withstand the baptism of wind and rain. Excessive doting children often lack a sense of responsibility and self -awareness. Children are used to relying on others. When facing difficulties and challenges, they often look helpless and lack the ability and courage to respond. What's more serious is that this long -term dependence psychology may also affect their mental health and personality development, making it difficult for them to build a healthy social relationship and integrate into society.

In addition, excessive doting may cause children's sense of self -worth. They are accustomed to accepting praise and affirmation from their parents, but it is difficult to form an inner self -evaluation system. Once they leave their parents' asylum and face the criticism and challenges of the outside world, they may fall into self -doubt and negation, and it is difficult to extricate themselves.

2. Ignore and indifferent pain

Corresponding to overly doting is ignoring and indifference. Many parents ignore their children's emotional needs and growth and changes because of their busy work. They may think that the material satisfaction of children is fulfilled to their parents' responsibilities, but ignores the child's desire for care and companionship deeply.

Children may feel abandoned and ignored, resulting in negative emotions such as inferiority and loneliness. The long -term accumulation of these emotions will not only affect their mental health, but also may lead to the emergence of behavioral problems, such as rebellion and escape. What's more serious, this lack of emotional lack may accompany them throughout their lives and become difficult to heal trauma.

Second, the theoretical analysis and practical path of love of love

What is "love of love"?

This concept stems from a deep understanding of the essence of parent -child relationships. It emphasizes that the expression of love needs to be adjusted in a timely, moderate, and flexible adjustment to meet the needs and changes of children at different growth stages of growth. Specifically, "Zhang" represents the necessary support and guidance to children to help them build the correct values, outlook on life, and world outlook; Creativity.

From a psychological point of view, "the relaxation of love" is in line with the law of individual psychological development. In the process of growth, children will experience different stages of psychological development, and each stage has its specific needs and characteristics. Parents need to flexibly adjust their educational methods according to their children's actual situation. They neither excessive intervention nor decentralization, allowing children to grow freely in an environment of love and freedom.

In addition, "the relaxation of love" also reflects the education principles of respect and understanding. It requires parents to respect their children's personality and needs, understand the reasons behind their emotions and behaviors, and build a parent -child relationship based on equality and respect. This relationship helps enhance the communication and understanding between parents and children, and promote the common growth of both parties.

How do parents "relax"?

1. Respect and understanding : First of all, parents need to respect their children's personality and needs and understand the reasons behind their emotions and behaviors. When children express their thoughts or feelings, parents should listen patiently and respond carefully to avoid judging or denying their children's views from an adult perspective.

2. Setting boundary : On the basis of respect and understanding, parents need to set reasonable boundaries for their children. These boundaries are designed to protect children from harm and guide them to develop good behavior habits and values. At the same time, the setting of the boundary also needs to be adjusted flexibly to meet the needs and changes of children at different growth stages of growth.

3. Effective communication : Communication is a bridge in parent -child relationship. Parents should strive to establish an open, honest, and respectful communication atmosphere and make effective dialogue with their children. This means listening to children's opinions and feelings, and also clearly express their expectations and boundaries. Through positive communication, parents can better understand their children's needs, and children can feel respected and understood, thereby enhancing the trust and emotional connection between parent -child.

4. Common growth : Parent -child relationship is a process of growing up. Parents need to continue to learn parenting knowledge, enhance their educational literacy and emotional wisdom, and better adapt to children's growth needs. At the same time, parents should also lead by example to become the role model of children, affect their children through their own behaviors and attitudes, and promote their positive values ​​and outlook on life.

5. Encourage exploration and attempts : In terms of "relaxation", parents should encourage their children to explore and try new things. This includes a certain autonomy to give children in learning, so that they can choose the way of learning and rhythm that suits them according to their interests and abilities; in life, we must also encourage children Social skills. Through continuous exploration and attempts, children can gradually discover their interests and potentials to enhance self -confidence and self -worth.

6. Moderate guidance and support : Parents should properly guide and support their children in terms of "Zhang". When children encounter difficulties or challenges, parents can provide necessary help and suggestions, but they must also avoid excessive intervention or solve problems instead of children. Through moderate guidance and support, parents can help their children to establish the correct way of thinking and methods to solve the problem, and cultivate their ability to respond and self -adjustment.

Third, the wisdom of love allows parents to grow self -growth

Parents first need to carry out self -growth and improvement.

1. Self -reflection

Parents should regularly reflect on themselves and examine whether they have misunderstandings or deficiencies in the expression of love. This includes whether to overly love children and deprive them of the opportunity to grow independently; whether it is because of ignoring or indifferent to hurt the child's emotional needs; whether it lacks patience and understanding in communication, leading to a gap with the child. Through self -reflection, parents can clearly understand their problems and improve them targeted.

2. Continuous learning

Parenting is a journey without an end. Parents need to continue to learn parenting knowledge to enhance their educational literacy and emotional wisdom. This includes reading parenting books, participating in parenting lectures, and communicating experience with other parents. Through learning, parents can learn more about children's growth knowledge and skills, and master more scientific and reasonable education methods and methods.

3. Emotional management

Emotional management is an indispensable part of parents' self -growth. In the face of children's challenges and difficulties, parents often have negative emotions such as anxiety and anger. If these emotions do not get effective management and release, they may have a adverse effect on children. Therefore, parents need to learn emotional management skills, such as deep breathing, meditation, and adjustment of positive mentality to maintain the child's growth problem to maintain a calm and rational attitude.

4. Example power

Parents' own behavior has a profound impact on their children. Children often imitate their parents' behavior and attitude to form their own values ​​and outlook on life. Therefore, parents need to pay attention to their words and deeds at all times to become a role model for children to learn. This includes honesty, trustworthiness, diligence, and respect for others. Through their own good behavior demonstrations, parents can subtly affect their children and promote their positive quality and habits.

Fifth, the art of love is integrated between the sneak

Love is a complicated emotion; and parent -child relationship is the most profound and direct manifestation of this emotion. In parent -child relations, "Zhang Chi" is not only a kind of educational concept and methodological guidance; it is also a life attitude and wisdom of life. It requires us to maintain a moderate distance and boundaries while giving children love; letting children grow freely, we must also give necessary guidance and support. Only in this way can we truly master the art of love; find the perfect balance between love and freedom; let parent -child relationship become the most valuable source of wealth and power in our lives.

This is exactly:

Parent -child affection deeply loves the way,

Zhang Chi has Du Tu Lang.

Free growth requires guidance,

Balanced harmony and blessing.

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