It is now close to ten o'clock in the evening, and I have just sat down at the computer, ready to start today's writing.

Three hours earlier, I was standing on a stool, rummaging through the shelves in the storage room, but I couldn't find the gelatin sheets I bought earlier. My niece is coming over tomorrow, and we are going to make coconut mango jelly together.

During the search, my anger rose again. Looking at the various opened and unopened ingredients piled up on the plastic storage rack my dad bought, some of the ingredients were from before, and many I had never seen before. The topic of not hoarding ingredients is an old story, and the current situation is even more out of control than before.

I lost control of my emotions as well. I jumped off the stool heavily and shouted "Ah!" in anger. My parents were in their bedroom, with their phones on loud, and didn't hear my "lion's roar." So I ran to their room and said loudly, "I can't find anything! Stop buying stuff!" Whether they understood or not, I quickly walked out of their room, changed my clothes in my bedroom, and went to Hema to buy gelatin sheets.

After changing my clothes, I returned to the kitchen and checked the drawers again, but still couldn't find it. I definitely had to go out this time. On the way, I tried to focus on the present, but my mind couldn't help but think about my anger towards myself from yesterday. It seemed like it was about to form a belief, but I knew that the issue wasn't whether I moved out; it seemed I still had to look within for the reason. However, my mind wouldn't stop. I asked myself why I had to fight against it? Why couldn't I accept a messy environment? Fighting would only make everything worse.

Shopping at Hema was straightforward. After getting the gelatin sheets, I also bought some vegetables and mushrooms for tomorrow, plus the foie gras we all love, and quickly checked out to go home.

When I got home, my parents' door was already closed. They were probably done showering and getting ready to scroll through their phones before sleeping. My outing, combined with the hot weather and my bad mood, left me feeling unsettled when I got home. After putting the groceries in the fridge, I noticed a new hanging rod on the kitchen door, with several pairs of ugly sleeve covers, two pairs of silicone gloves, and three aprons hanging on it. Did it have to be displayed like this? My anger flared up again. I quickly took down these "ugly things" and threw them in the trash. This process ignited my fighting spirit, and I decided to do a cleanup, clearing out the clutter from the uneven clothes rack by the door that I had wanted to tidy up for a long time. This area had been transformed by my dad, covered with an IKEA curtain, turning it into a junk pile.

I cleared out three full bags of junk from there without thinking and stuffed them into garbage bags, then went downstairs to throw them in the trash can. On the way down, I remembered that over the years, whenever I wanted to throw away things that weren't mine, I reminded myself to respect my parents' space. But today, I broke that principle. I knew there was a long-suppressed fire inside me, and if I didn't take action, it would set the whole house ablaze.

After finishing all this, I took another garbage bag and tidied up the clutter in the bathroom, cleaned the floor, and then took a shower to calm down. After writing all this, I felt that my emotions hadn't been fully released. My back was a bit sore, and my chest felt a little tight. However, I don't regret everything I did tonight, and I'm also glad that I didn't have a direct conflict with my parents because of my state.

I can only pray for my inner wisdom to help me communicate well with my parents about this matter tomorrow. At the same time, I can only continue to wait for the key to this bottleneck to reveal itself, so I can have strategies to transcend it and methods to cope. After all, the "mines" I buried in the past can only be cleared one by one. The deeper they are buried, the more effort it will take. Writing to this point, I feel a bit more relaxed.

Grateful! I am doing something that was very difficult for me in the past—facing my emotions without judging myself. At the same time, this kind of record will help me perceive myself more deeply. I hope that in the near future, I can make some discoveries.

In practice, I accept all my states. I believe that every revelation is to draw out the inner wisdom, helping me understand myself better and get closer to my inner life. May every fellow traveler continue to walk steadily on this path! Let's encourage each other!