Unknowingly, it’s already the weekend. Although there have been frequent family conflicts with my parents these days, it hasn’t delayed my making clothes. So far, I have completed two Chinese-style jackets.

Since learning about the Enneagram, I no longer fear expressing my emotions. It’s because I accept that I have emotions, whereas in the past, I would differentiate which emotions were bad or unspiritual and then suppress them. But that only addresses the symptoms, not the root cause. The emotions were just pushed down, but the events that triggered those emotions were not resolved in my heart.

In the past few days, I have seen these repressed parts emerge through my emotions. Those unresolved events have also surfaced, and I find myself returning to my childhood, that phase of being the peacemaker in the family. However, now I don’t need to mediate my parents' relationship as I did back then; instead, I need to directly face my relationship with my parents and learn how to handle conflicts with them.

During these days, I have experienced my mother’s silent indifference towards me and my father’s anxiety behind the conflicts. I try to feel what triggers their reactions, and I am grateful that I have experienced the hardships of my own life, understanding that compassion and forgiveness are the true paths to liberation, thus experiencing my inner strength more deeply.

Yes, I first showed compassion and forgiveness towards myself, still caring about my parents' attitudes towards me, even though I know that behind this is my pursuit of the essence of love. I also realize that I have deep disappointment towards my parents. Is this the reason for the conflict? I may unintentionally release these signals in life, causing them to have stress responses.

This is the entanglement of karma, right? Karma, or the law of cause and effect, is a concept in Buddhism that describes the interconnection between actions and results. It holds that our actions, whether good or bad, will produce corresponding results, which may manifest in the current life or in future lives. From this perspective, family conflicts and the handling of personal emotions can be seen as manifestations and resolution processes of karma.

In simpler terms, karma is like a habitual pattern of thinking and behavior. Once triggered by certain factors, one enters that pattern of thinking and behavior.

With this understanding, I attempt to explore and seek solutions to family conflicts in a deeper way in today’s article. Each emotional outburst and each conflict is a result of past actions and an opportunity for future change.

Next, I will take the following steps to address these conflicts and emotions:

1. Self-reflection: I need to delve into the reasons behind my emotions, understand what triggers my reactions, and how these reactions are related to my past experiences.

2. Communication and expression: I will try to have open and sincere conversations with my parents, expressing my feelings and needs while also listening to their feelings and encouraging them to become aware of their own needs.

3. Cultivating empathy: I will strive to understand my parents' behaviors and emotions from their perspective, which will help me better understand the roots of the conflict and find ways to resolve the issues.

4. Releasing and transforming: I will continue to release and transform my emotions through meditation, writing, or other creative activities, reducing the burden in my heart. For example, not being affected by emotions while making clothes these days is a good way.

5. Establishing “new karma”: Through positive actions and a positive attitude, I begin to create new, positive karma, which will help improve my relationship with my parents and my personal growth.

Here are the solutions I can think of:

Emotional management: Learn emotional management techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness meditation, to help myself stay calm during conflicts.

Boundary setting: Clearly define personal boundaries, learn to say “no,” and protect my emotional and mental health when necessary.

Active listening: Practice active listening, which not only helps understand my parents but also enhances mutual understanding and respect.

Joint activities: Engage in activities with my parents, which helps alleviate tension and strengthen family cohesion. I have been practicing this, such as walking and traveling with them, but I must focus on the emotional connections and deepening during these activities.

Gratitude practice: Continue gratitude practices, finding things to appreciate about my parents every day, which helps shift my perspective on the relationship and reduce negative emotions.

By practicing these steps, I hope to gradually resolve family conflicts while also achieving personal growth and liberation. I know that change will not happen overnight, but each step is an important move towards a more harmonious life.