In recent years, incidents of female online streamers being killed by their top fans have occurred frequently, and I am not surprised by such tragedies.
For men, getting married, having children, and achieving fame and profit are their main life goals. Under favorable conditions and influenced by traditional culture, they may also have higher pursuits, such as a respected social status, dominance in sexual relationships, and authority in parent-child relationships.
However, in reality, many people are quite ordinary; they cannot achieve success in the real world and can only place their hopes in the virtual online world. There, female streamers are beautiful and have pleasant voices, and as long as you are willing to spend money, they will provide you with emotional value.
But this value is often based on a mutual exchange of value. When the value is unequal, those virtual expectations will conflict with reality, and tragedy will inevitably occur.
Most of those extreme "big brothers" are poor; they spare no effort, even going into debt, just to pursue that bit of illusory glory and satisfaction in the online world. They mistakenly believe that by tipping female streamers, they can win their favor and even establish a real relationship with them. However, they are wrong; they are merely tools for the streamers to make money, and once they lose their value, they will be ruthlessly discarded.
This huge gap fills them with despair and anger. They cannot accept their failure, nor can they accept the betrayal of the female streamers. Thus, they choose the most extreme way—to vent their dissatisfaction and anger through violence.
The violent actions of these "big brothers" not only harm the female streamers but also challenge the moral bottom line of society as a whole. Their behavior makes me reflect: what drives these people to extremes? Is it social injustice? Or is it a personal psychological issue?
I have interacted with some losers on chat platforms and understood their spiritual needs, so I know the reasons behind the "big brothers'" violent actions.
In the past, I was similar to the "big brothers." When I first entered society, I developed a retinal disease and had to take hormones for a long time. After taking the medication, my face swelled up like a pig's head. The pig's head face made me feel inferior; people around me didn't take me seriously, and my work and romantic prospects naturally didn't go well (isolated at work, mocked during blind dates)—women laughed at my lack of standards, and men thought I was unworthy of them.
But I still held hope for men; after all, I am not a lesbian, and women cannot interfere in my romantic life. To turn things around, I spent several hundred on a one-year membership on a dating site and met two decent men: one was handsome but extremely stingy—on our first date, he took me to an upscale hotpot but made me pay the bill afterward; the other had a respectable job but often stood me up. We had agreed to count down at the Canton Tower at the end of the year, but when I arrived, he said he had something else to do and needed to accompany a friend.
The guy who stood me up was quite good at "fishing," and later he would occasionally chat with me but never meet. I had been single for too long and really wanted to date, so when I had no better options, I treated him as a boyfriend. Although I felt he was toying with me, I still tried hard, hoping to touch his heart one day. During those years, my emotions were led by him, and late at night, my tears soaked my pillow. Fortunately, he had a bit of conscience and didn't take advantage of me. So, I maintained a normal friendship with him.
In 2022, the double blow of my grandmother's passing and the rampant pandemic brought my mood to rock bottom. At that time, an internet celebrity from Fangcun suddenly became popular; she became many people's "spiritual support" because of her statement "I want to keep my job," briefly becoming a star in the influencer world. To gain traffic, she imitated Feng Jie and "loudly" sought marriage, even destroying her own image—exposing her privacy extensively. Like many people suffocated by life, I hurriedly followed her and joined her fan group. I followed her to find amusement, seek a sense of superiority, and release my inner anxiety.
Besides seeking fun from her, I also admired her strong psychological quality—if I were as flamboyant as her, I would have ended up in the hospital. Out of admiration, I even shared her live streaming clips on my social media. One day, an old acquaintance (an uncle) saw the clips I shared and became very interested in this internet celebrity, asking me to add him to the fan group. I agreed, not expecting this action to bring me trouble.
After the uncle joined the group, he actually took the initiative to message the internet celebrity and harassed her with suggestive language. This made the internet celebrity very unhappy; she issued an ultimatum in the group, demanding to find out who added the uncle. Soon, I was exposed by several hot-blooded female group members, and those women kept throwing dirt on me—slandering me as a transgender person, mocking my makeup as outdated... What was most unbearable was that they compared me to their pet dog and maid.
Faced with accusations and humiliation, I felt both helpless and sad. I smiled helplessly, laughing at how my good intentions led to such results; I cried sadly, mourning that in this complex society, I couldn't find true friends and supporters.
During that time, I felt like I was isolated in a dark corner, unable to find light no matter how hard I tried. I began to doubt whether sincerity and kindness existed between people. I started to question whether I had the ability to cultivate true friendships and love. Did I really have to be abandoned by this world?
Perhaps I was too shy and didn't showcase my strengths, leading those around me to underestimate me. Look at those female streamers; their goals are clear—to make money—but they can still win the favor and admiration of those poor "big brothers." It's truly incredible! What is their charm? Is it their pleasant speech or their alluring appearance? But the "big brothers" are not fools; what they care about most is money. Even if they need emotional satisfaction, they can just watch without tipping! I really can't understand.
Due to anxiety, I couldn't work full-time, so I quit my previous job and switched to part-time work.
A job posting on a part-time platform caught my attention: online chat operator (female only), with a monthly salary of over ten thousand.
I thought, just chatting could earn money, which sounded great. But oh my, could there really be such a windfall? Was there some trick involved? With a nervous heart, I decided to give this online chat operator job a try. After all, life must go on, and money is the driving force that supports me to keep going.
The interview process was surprisingly simple; they only asked me some basic information and work experience.
Then, the HR added me to a WeChat group and gave me a QR code, asking me to scan it to download a chat app, claiming it was authorized by their company. I followed their instructions, downloaded the app, and registered an account.
Next, HR asked the newcomers to prepare some opening lines for chatting and send these messages to male users recommended by the app (80-100 messages daily). HR said this would activate the account and quickly attract user attention.
It turned out that the chat operator's service targets were men! But what could a woman chat about with a group of strange men... However, HR repeatedly emphasized: "The chat must not involve any adult content!" Oh, did I think too much?