In 1980, I was born in Malaysia and I am a fourth-generation Cantonese (Guangfu people) Chinese. After graduating from a Chinese school at the age of fifteen, I started working. My parents ran a small and simple Chinese restaurant, and there were regular customers from the neighborhood who came to support us. However, my parents were no longer young, and although doing larger business would be better, they were afraid of not being able to handle it, so maintaining the status quo was enough to support themselves.
When I graduated from the Chinese secondary school, I took the entrance examination for further studies, but there were many Malay candidates with the same scores, so under Malaysia's quota system, I could not compete. This means that any entrance examination, university admission, or recruitment by employers follows a system that prioritizes Malays and indigenous people. The exam results from Chinese schools are recognized by mainland China or Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan, but due to limited family conditions, I did not continue my studies and chose to work instead.
My first job was as a waiter in a Sichuan restaurant, and I also cleaned. I worked there for three years without a pay raise or a chance for promotion, and I felt that continuing like this was not a solution. That year, I turned eighteen, and a caring colleague planned to switch jobs to a music restaurant as a waiter, while someone else would take over the cleaning duties—plus, the salary there was higher.
At nineteen, it was my second year working at the restaurant. I met my first husband, who was a new resident singer at the restaurant at that time—mainly because he was handsome and sweet-talking... The songs he sang, whether they were Cantonese, Hokkien, Hakka, or even Malay songs, were all very good, so I took the initiative to get close to him.
Originally, I was on the morning shift, but later I specially applied to switch to the evening shift to accompany him. In the mornings, he would take me out to eat, drink, and have fun. Although I was a bit naive at that time, he generously introduced me to his friends, and we would hang out together. Later, he also spent more money taking me to pick out nice clothes, and that was when I started to learn how to dress myself. The neighbors all thought I looked prettier than before. Gradually, I fell in love, so I introduced my friends to come to the restaurant to watch him perform. Even if it was just for an iced coffee or a cup of tea, there were always people who tipped him every day.
Later, I went home with him to have a meal with his family, and his family looked down on him, while they greeted me with smiles. In fact, his father was the principal of the local Chinese school when I just enrolled, and his mother was the head of the teaching department at that school. However, he did not like studying and spent his days idling around, so he dropped out early to sing on the streets with friends who knew how to play instruments. He could easily sing songs from all three generations, so he received small change from passersby every day. But his daily income was only enough for meals, and he had to hide from the police, until he was recognized by the restaurant owner, which led to an increase in his income. However, at that time, he was still young and did not know how to manage money, always inviting friends to drink and have fun. For him at that time, I was very touched that he spent so much money on me, thinking that he would change greatly because of me, so I acted as if I would only marry him.
My parents also could not stand his behavior. After dating for a year, his attitude towards life seemed to be revealed. Just when I was thinking of breaking up, I found that my period was late, and I was easily dizzy and nauseous. So, I took leave from the restaurant to go to the hospital for a check-up, and it turned out that I was pregnant with his child. I told him the truth, and both families ended up getting married because of the baby. I also believed that he would mature because of the arrival of the child.