🎂 It is August 2, which means happy birthday to Charli XCX and James Baldwin, who turns 100 today.
Issue #133: How to say no, how to do nothing, and the psychology of luck
By Harris Sockel
Here are five long reads for your weekend. You will find deep cuts from average stories plus those published last week.
Among 33 tips for living, working, and thinking from bestselling author Ryan Holiday, this stood out to me: the politest way to say no is to say you have a rule. For example: I have a rule that I don’t make decisions over the phone. It’s a graceful way to decline without making someone feel bad.
Saying (and doing) nothing goes against some of the strongest forces in our culture (create content! Have opinions! Subscribe!). It’s a powerful act of rebellion. In the words of French philosopher Gilles Deleuze, through artist Jenny Odell: It is such a relief to have nothing to say, the right not to say anything, because only then is there a chance to frame the rare and rarer things, the things that might be worth saying.
It is concerning to live in a city where 911 takes too long to respond, where police do not show up for days, writes Jennifer Pahlka in this crazy essay about a home invasion in Oakland. When the police arrived 48 hours late, one of them told her: You have the right to be angry with us. You should yell in my face (she didn’t). Pahlka builds on her X theme of the incident; she knows the perpetrator needs mental health services but our government is set up to provide them.
A lesson from Paul Ford, whose guide to modern etiquette is one of the most charming essays I’ve ever read: When you meet a stranger at a party, see how long you can wait before asking what they do for a living. And if you ask? Respond “Wow, that sounds tough!” no matter what they say.
This is the most read short story ever published on Medium: Rafael Zoehler's When I Go. I am not convinced this story was not designed in a closed lab with the goal of making people cry (just look at the comments!). The narrator’s father dies and leaves him a series of sealed letters. According to one reader, an excellent piece. Love the idea, executed with simplicity, clarity, and beauty.
🍀 Your daily dose of practical wisdom: On the psychology of luck
Many psychological studies over the past decade have found that simply believing you are lucky - whether luck exists or not! - can positively influence your actions and their outcomes, perhaps because it calms you down and helps you feel a bit more confident.
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Edited and produced by Scott Lamb & Carly Rose Gillis
Questions, feedback, or story suggestions? Email us: tips@medium.com