At the family gathering during the Mid-Autumn Festival, my cousin once again refreshed my understanding of the baseline. I couldn't believe that a nearly fifty-year-old window service staff member working in a government administrative agency could have such a lack of upbringing, even worse than a street woman. I do not mean to offend street women; I just couldn't think of a more fitting description at the moment.

As the meal was about to start, all the relatives were chatting casually, trying to appear somewhat close despite the politeness. Sitting next to my cousin, my little aunt asked why her husband didn't come, which opened the floodgates for my cousin. Immediately, my cousin began cursing her husband with foul language, showing no restraint even with her daughter sitting nearby. A few years ago, it was said that her daughter had attempted to jump off a building several times, but it eventually came to nothing. I looked at the girl sitting directly across from me, who would be taking the college entrance exam next year; there was not a trace of the vitality one would expect at her age, just a hollow gaze hidden behind thick glasses, staring down at her phone. This state of detachment must have long been a norm for her regarding her mother's behavior. After the meal started, my cousin's words did not cease; my little aunt tried to change the subject several times but was always brought back by her. It seemed as if she had finally found a way to vent, wanting to pour out everything. Meanwhile, my cousin's daughter spent the entire time focused on eating; once she was full, she lowered her head to play on her phone, only pulling at her school uniform awkwardly when her mother called her to leave, following her mother out of the private room. Throughout, she did not communicate with anyone. It was as if she was deliberately avoiding something by keeping her head down.

A few years ago, when I was a psychological counselor, my cousin had asked me how to discipline her daughter, who was going through puberty. After listening to her description, I tactfully told her that the problem did not lie with the child. My intention was for my cousin to reflect on her own methods of dealing with things. Perhaps my abilities were limited; after all these years, my cousin is still the same controlling cousin.

Listening to my cousin complain about her husband cheating, her child being disobedient, her mother-in-law being paralyzed, and being schemed against at work... forgive me for having no sympathetic reaction. Because I don't know how many times I've heard her repeat these words; every time I listen and advise, her life returns to normal, and others' concerns are just unnecessary. So why should I listen to this full of negative energy? Later, when my cousin sought me out again, I deliberately distanced myself from her. If it weren't for the family gathering this time, I think I wouldn't have to hear all this again.

Over the years, I have grown increasingly averse to people who only know how to complain and not change; my cousin is one of them. It seems that whenever she is in a bad mood, others are obliged to take care of her, just because we are relatives? I recall when I was in middle school, my cousin had stayed at my house for a while. Later, I learned that it wasn't because her workplace was far away and it was more convenient to commute from my house, but rather because returning to her own home was indeed somewhat "inconvenient." Some things I only found out later when I accidentally discovered that her original partner had beaten her up badly.

But I remember the moment I found out, I felt a wave of nausea in my stomach. If her original partner came knocking, how would the neighbors view my family? What if the family members did something irrational... The chill in my heart must have started rising from that moment. Is this what relatives are supposed to be? Worrying about their own parents getting implicated and then diverting the disaster? Because they are relatives, I don't know what words to use to describe such people.

Later, my cousin's marriage troubles were also expected. In her own words, she had no house to live in, so she had to marry to have a place to stay. Did she really sleep on the streets for over thirty years before getting married?

I remember my cousin started mingling in society right after graduating from middle school, relying on her looks to enjoy a few years of glory. Later, as she got older, she "married down" to her husband. She also entered a government administrative unit through her husband's connections; looking at it from another angle, my cousin actually had a pretty good life, as if she didn't need to put in much effort in anything, just being pretty was enough!

When my cousin got married, I was in Beijing. Although I didn't attend the wedding, I still gave her a big red envelope. After all, according to the family hierarchy, I was second only to her, and some etiquette had to be followed.

Later, I heard that my cousin's husband was the youngest son in the family, and when he was young, he had very high standards, which delayed his marriage until he was nearly forty. My cousin was fortunate; once she married, she was doted on by the whole family, and after having children, she was even more spoiled. During that time, many relatives were urging me to get married, using my cousin's happy life as an example. I got annoyed with the pressure and distanced myself from my relatives.

The next time I had more frequent contact with my cousin was during my time as a psychological counselor.

After half the meal, I reflected on my interactions with my cousin throughout my life.

Bored with their conversation and not enjoying the food, I suddenly remembered that my parents had told me before the gathering to find an opportunity to pay the bill, so I fiddled with my phone. But for some reason, the phone suddenly malfunctioned, frequently turning on and off. While I was focused on fixing my phone, I heard my cousin sarcastically say, "It's time to change your phone; you should get the latest iPhone, just like the one in her hand, who knows how good it is!"

Only then did I notice that the little aunt who had been chatting with my cousin had gone off to do something else, and my cousin was poking at a plate of vegetables with her chopsticks, complaining disdainfully about her weight loss. I admit, she does make more money than I do. But I really can't stand her show-off attitude. So I retorted, "I only trust domestic brands." With that, I left the private room with my phone.

By fate, as I walked to the bar, my phone miraculously started working again. But when I finished paying the bill and returned to the private room, the phone malfunctioned again.

My cousin's topic had shifted from showing off her phone to planning to buy a car, and several relatives who had eaten and drunk enough gathered around her. The little aunt mentioned the second-hand car I had just bought, intending to suggest that my cousin buy a second-hand car to practice driving. My cousin, with an air of superiority, asked in detail what car I had bought. During my honest response, she expressed disdain with every sentence. I directly told her, "I think it's good, no matter what others say!" The little aunt also sensed the tension and kept trying to change the subject. But my cousin seemed to be getting more and more excited, which made me laugh in anger.

I admit, at that moment, I was disgusted with my cousin, genuinely loathing her. But then I thought, I also felt sorry for her. She only had this pitiful dignity left; shouldn't she flaunt it? Her husband frequently cheats, her child is distant from her; although she has a decent job, can she really boast about getting a job through connections? Perhaps my cousin hoped that her colleagues would take better care of her after knowing this, but what she got in return was ridicule. When her relationship with her husband was still okay, he would protect her; now, it can only be said that when the wall falls, everyone pushes it down.

Recalling the previous conversations with other siblings, where they complained about my cousin's actions, I suddenly thought of Cao Qiqiao from Zhang Ailing's writings.

After the meal, I received a message from my cousin, immediately asking me to drive her wherever she wanted to go. Again, she had that high-and-mighty attitude. I set my messages to do not disturb and deleted the chat. That night, I couldn't sleep, with many fragments about my cousin flashing through my mind. Her once proud face, although meticulously maintained over the years, was now filled with resentment. Her eloquent words revealed sharpness and bitterness.

Every sigh about my cousin serves as a reminder to myself: when dealing with problems, never be like my cousin; when interacting with others, never be like my cousin, or else her today might be my tomorrow. Thinking this way, this insomnia was worth it; it can be considered a long-lasting alarm. Indeed, everything that happens is beneficial to me!

The end