In the open and covert struggles between parents and relatives, how can one live out their true self?叶 咏诗My aunt has transformed from an angelic figure of the past into a demonic presence today. How should I make the difficult choice between her and my father? My relationship with my aunt has undergone a huge shift from closeness to estrangement, even leading to serious conflicts. Every Qingming Festival, I try every means to avoid family gatherings with her. However, despite my father's original discord with my aunt, he now asks me to maintain a facade of harmony. Caught between my father and my aunt, I feel unprecedented pressure and struggle; each choice seems like dancing on the edge of a knife, unbearable to endure.
Why do children in Chinese families often feel closer to one side of the paternal or maternal relatives?叶 咏诗The power games behind the closeness and distance of Chinese relatives—there is always a tendency for "unilineal (patrilineal or matrilineal)" kinship in Chinese families. In my own family, there is often a phenomenon of "patrilineal orientation": criticizing maternal relatives is allowed, but criticizing paternal relatives provokes a strong reaction. However, in the homes of uncles and fathers-in-law who are referred to as "wife slaves," children are actually closer to maternal relatives. Why does this phenomenon occur where one side of the parents hopes that the children distance themselves from their partner's family while getting closer to their own relatives? Why is it rare for both parents to wish for their children to maintain closeness with relatives from both families?
When the roar of our fathers becomes the interruption of our husbands, how do we reclaim our voice?叶 咏诗Both my father and husband show tendencies of emotional instability: my father is irritable in front of my mother and me, often glaring with a fierce look, stomping on the floor, shouting loudly, and throwing things around; while my husband appears domineering, privately not allowing me to express my personal opinions. How should we interact with a partner who has emotional instability? How can victims break the deadlock of enduring domestic violence, fulfill their desire to open up, and free themselves from the shadow of abuse?
Should children be trained in advance about dating and private life?叶 咏诗In the context where the public avoids discussing marriage, love, and sexual life with children, how can children establish a correct view of love and sexual life? If parents do not impart the correct views on love and private life to their children during their adolescence, or if there is a lack of education, will it affect the children's performance and fate in marriage and love? During school, early romantic relationships and sexual activities are strictly prohibited by teachers and parents. However, a strange phenomenon is that students do not fully grasp the knowledge taught in school, while they secretly learn about untaught content. For example, they may imitate idol dramas to experience love, learn how to communicate with the opposite sex, or even get to know sexual life through inappropriate links pushed by websites. However, understanding love and sexual life through these means often leads to a deviation from the correct understanding of love and sex, and may even result in serious consequences. In the process of growing up, due to the deviation in understanding love and sex, it becomes difficult for them to establish healthy romantic relationships in adulthood, and they may even encounter dangers...
In the face of the husband's family's funeral, the daughter-in-law from the 60s adheres to tradition, while the daughter-in-law from the 90s appears "heartless."叶 咏诗By comparing the views on marriage between my generation and my mother's generation, we can explore why brides from the 90s seem "heartless" compared to those from the 60s, and whether the marriage views of the 90s truly violate ethical morals. As a woman from the 90s, I have significant differences in attitude and actions regarding my husband's family's funeral compared to my mother (from the 60s). I have questioned whether I am too heartless or if I am violating ethical morals. Why can't I, like my mother, overcome my inner fears and assist my husband's family in properly handling the funeral? (The story in this article has been artistically processed and is purely fictional.)
How can women who have experienced multiple breakups and divorce transform their self-worth?叶 咏诗After experiencing multiple heartbreaks and discovering that she has entrusted herself to the wrong person after marriage, the woman has completely lost confidence in the opposite sex. In a social environment where fierce competition among women, appearance anxiety, and marriage and relationship anxiety intertwine, with others not believing in her, how will she prove her worth?
How can a mistress legally take revenge on a married scumbag?叶 咏诗A junior girl has been in a relationship with her current boyfriend for two years, but it wasn't until last year that she learned he was already married. She sought advice from an online relationship blogger, who suggested she break up with him immediately to avoid further damaging another family. However, she couldn't accept this advice, believing she was also a victim, kept in the dark, and wondering who would compensate for the loss of her youth. I believe this girl should immediately cut ties with this man, but beyond that, she should also seek revenge on him. So, within the bounds of the law, what would be the most effective way to take revenge on this man?
How disabled only children can protect their inherited assets from being controlled by their spouses.叶 咏诗For disabled only children, ensuring that inherited assets are not controlled by a spouse is a complex and sensitive issue. As family circumstances, legal environments, or personal situations change, disabled only children should regularly review and update their asset protection plans to ensure that these plans always align with their wishes and needs.
In order to allow his wife to focus on her pregnancy, the husband deliberately provoked a wild cat and lost control of his emotions after being scratched.叶 咏诗The truth of a marriage torn apart by a stray cat: When a control freak meets a savior, who is feeding this emotional plague? The wife originally wanted to keep a pet, but the husband firmly opposed it, trying to stop her by claiming he needed to focus on getting her pregnant. After being "scratched" by the stray cat, the husband showed obvious self-destructive tendencies and emotional instability, even perceiving his wife's concern as a threat. Why did the husband choose self-harm as a way to prevent his wife from keeping a pet? When the wife anxiously urged him to seek medical help, he refused to appreciate it. Where did the wife go wrong in this situation?
Why did the husband forward the video of a man being abused to his wife?叶 咏诗When the husband faces his wife's questions about domestic violence, he always "drafts" (that is, thinks carefully before answering), and then shares some video cases of men suffering from domestic violence by their wives. Is the husband trying to express the view that "both men and women can perpetrate domestic violence," or is he implying that "male domestic violence is a form of self-defense"?
Why do rural parents prefer to pay a high bride price to welcome a "forebear" into their home?叶 咏诗Only children in rural areas are often forced by their parents to arrange marriages with high bride prices. However, the brides brought home are unwilling to manage household chores and may even return to their parental homes after being slapped by their husbands, ultimately leading to frequent conflicts between the two families.
Why does the husband always need to "draft" when responding to questions related to domestic violence?叶 咏诗Do men subconsciously default to the rationality of domestic violence? Through two conversations about "violence" in my own marriage, I explored my husband's hesitant attitude towards the issue of domestic violence. I shared the real incident of a man in Shandong brutally killing his wife's corgi in front of her, thereby questioning the possible collusion mentality towards domestic violence that may exist within the male population.
How does a only daughter protect herself after her father's passing, especially when it comes to bringing in a son-in-law?叶 咏诗After the "Old King" passes away, how should the little princess protect her crown?
Will treating siblings' children as if they were your own be a thankless task?叶 咏诗My aunt has cared for me since I was little, and she always wanted me to call her "Aunt Mama," as if she hoped I would see her as my own mother. However, even though I deeply appreciate her kindness, my feelings of gratitude for her still do not compare to the deep affection I have for my biological mother...
How to Teach a Child to ReadTana FrenchLearning to read can be a long process, so it is never too early to prepare a child.
How to Support Your Wife After a MiscarriageHanya YanagiharaMiscarriages are one of the most difficult things any parent or prospective parent can experience.
How the toxic vines of the family of origin strangle the soul赵 艳伟How was Fan Guqi's extreme personality catalyzed by her family of origin? In "Beautiful Battlefield," Fan Guqi (Zhong JiaqI)'s biological father is a small-time thug imprisoned for murder, while her mother lingers on the fringes of the underworld, making a living by seducing men (her stepfather had an affair with Zhong JiaqI's mother while still married to his first wife). Initially, Zhong JiaqI behaved very well in her stepfather's home, but later, due to constant comparisons, she gradually fell into the role of a "bad girl." During her middle school years, she developed a romantic relationship with a teacher, which led to the teacher murdering his wife and fleeing, ultimately being shot dead. She even framed her stepsister Zhong Jiabao, who had once saved her, for this incident. To celebrate her biological mother's birthday, she stole her boyfriend's mother's belongings, resulting in a slap to the face, after which she fiercely confronted her mother...
How a utilitarian stepmother integrates into a blended family叶 咏诗She remarried with her daughter (her current husband also has a daughter), but she is not kind to her stepdaughter, constantly calculating how much benefit she can gain and whether she will suffer losses. How should such a mother balance the relationships in a blended family? What methods can she adopt to ensure that she and her children become the biggest beneficiaries?
From Feng Xiaolian's altar to Xiao Hou's nirvana叶 咏诗Why could Empress Xiao have a good ending while Feng Xiaolian could not, despite both being toyed with by several emperors? This explores the different fates of Feng Xiaolian and Empress Xiao, discussing the survival strategies of seasoned players in the romantic arena within marriage, and analyzing why some women who have been repeatedly betrayed can be accepted by men, while others are completely rejected. Both Feng Xiaolian and Empress Xiao were known for their charm, captivating generations of rulers; however, their destinies were vastly different: Feng Xiaolian was the favored concubine of Gao Wei, the last emperor of Northern Qi. She was originally a maid to Empress Mu Xieli. Known for her beauty and talent, she could play the pipa and excelled in singing and dancing. Gao Wei adored her to the extent of committing the absurd act of having her lie naked in the court for ministers to admire. More seriously, at a critical moment in war, Gao Wei delayed military action due to Feng Xiaolian's grooming, leading to the defeat of Northern Qi. After the fall of Northern Qi, Feng Xiaolian became the concubine of Yu Wenda of Northern Zhou and Li Xun of the Sui Dynasty, ultimately committing suicide due to unbearable humiliation. In contrast, Empress Xiao was the empress of Emperor Yang of the Sui Dynasty. After the fall of the Sui Dynasty, she became the consort of Yu Wenji, Dou Jiande, the Turkic Khagan, and Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty, ultimately achieving a good ending.
How does the ex-wife face the retribution of the ex-husband?叶 咏诗As an ex-wife, witnessing her former husband, who once betrayed her, end up losing both money and love due to an unreliable new partner, how should she adjust her mindset? Should she choose to gloat, accept it calmly, or extend a helping hand? Which mindset is most beneficial for the ex-wife?
How can stepchildren get along harmoniously in blended families?叶 咏诗In the TV drama "Beautiful Battlefield," the half-sisters Fan Guqi (Zhong JiaqI) and Zhong Jiabao view each other as enemies. Is there a possibility for them to reconcile? As a stepdaughter, Fan Guqi (Zhong JiaqI) has a fierce personality and repeatedly frames the kind-hearted Zhong Jiabao. For instance, she once hid luxury items in Zhong Jiabao's room to accuse her of engaging in escort activities, and even designed traps during a beauty pageant. On the other hand, Zhong Jiabao has a gentle nature but constantly suffers from exclusion and harm. How can the kind-hearted Zhong Jiabao avoid being marginalized? How should the fierce Fan Guqi adjust her mindset to prevent conflicts with her stepsister and ensure her own peace within the family? Using the characters Zhong Jiabao and Fan Guqi from the Hong Kong drama "Beautiful Battlefield" as examples, this explores the coexistence strategies among step-siblings in blended families.
How to Convince Your Parents to Drive You to PlacesAnne SextonWhen you're too young to drive, getting places can be frustrating. You have to rely on your parents to take you everywhere.
Should the authority of morality in marriage lean towards the wife?叶 咏诗A 29-year-old woman has had multiple arguments with her husband due to his long-term addiction to online games, resulting in severe menstrual irregularities (heavy bleeding). Given that women are generally physically weaker than men, should the husband be more understanding and accommodating towards his wife on non-principled issues?
Is the essence of marriage based on a partnership where each party fulfills their own needs, or is it about supporting each other through thick and thin?叶 咏诗After more than ten years of taking medication, I had serious disagreements and disputes with my husband regarding fertility during our preparation for pregnancy. Although my husband took on most of the household chores, he constantly complained. Meanwhile, I was under immense psychological pressure due to multiple unsuccessful attempts to conceive. Ultimately, the conflict between us escalated further when I used insecticide while cooking. My husband even said, "If you can't get pregnant, I will find a way to have a child on my own." His words reduced me to a mere reproductive tool, leaving me feeling extremely depressed, and I expressed a sense of despair by saying, "If my parents are no longer here, let it be." Reflecting on the case of Hong Kong actress Shun Yi's husband who committed suicide (her 88-year-old husband jumped off a building after she was diagnosed with cancer, having previously told their son that he wished to die with her), one can't help but ponder: Is marriage based on cohabitation and mutual needs, or is it about supporting each other through thick and thin, sharing life and death?
How to praise children "as you wish"?叶 咏诗A nine-year-old girl has gradually weakened her ability to cope with setbacks due to receiving perfunctory praise for a long time, even continuously tearing up certificates that are not first prizes. According to teachers' observations, children who receive vague praise have a 50% decrease in their active participation in class discussions. These children often cling to the label of being a "perfect child," and their emotions fluctuate with even slight shortcomings. Since vague praise has such a significant negative impact on children, can parents freely praise their children based on reason and evidence? This would not only save unnecessary trouble (reduce psychological burden) but also ensure that the praise comes from the heart?
Is it reasonable for a husband to conceal his betrayal from his pregnant wife?叶 咏诗During his wife's pregnancy, the husband was unable to control himself and went to a prostitution venue, resulting in his detention by the police. To keep his wife from finding out, he revealed all his accomplices and the prostitution den he belonged to. So, is such a husband worthy of forgiveness? Is it appropriate for him to protect his wife's physical and mental health through the act of concealing his betrayal? For a pregnant wife, is it a good thing or a bad thing not to know about her husband's betrayal?
Why can some children break away from their original families, while others repeat the mistakes of the previous generation?叶 咏诗Taking Princess Taiping, the daughter of Wu Zetian, and the three daughters of Empress Masako and Princess Kiko of the Japanese imperial family as examples, a comparative analysis is conducted. (Princess Taiping was Wu Zetian's most favored daughter, growing up amidst the power struggles of the court. Wu Zetian, in her quest for power, even personally strangled her first daughter, and this family environment undoubtedly had a profound impact on Princess Taiping's character development. The trajectory of Princess Taiping's later life almost mirrored that of Wu Zetian—passionate about power struggles, participating in multiple coups, and ultimately being granted death. In contrast, the daughters of Empress Masako and Princess Kiko of the Japanese imperial family live in a completely different environment. Empress Masako graduated from Harvard University and was a diplomat, creating an open and inclusive atmosphere for her daughter Aiko. Princess Kiko, on the other hand, is more traditional and conservative, adopting a stricter educational approach for her daughters, Princess Mako and Princess Kiko. These differences have led the three princesses down entirely different life paths.)
Who is today's marriage law really protecting?叶 咏诗A Shandong man was accused of extortion after catching his wife cheating—After catching his wife in the act, a man in Shandong received 25,000 yuan in compensation from her lover, but was subsequently charged with extortion. After being acquitted, the man sued the lover for the return of the "unjust enrichment" and is currently planning to apply for state compensation and hold those responsible for the wrongful case accountable. In reality, current laws are particularly lenient towards infidelity, requiring extremely detailed evidence, such as photos of the two individuals engaged in sexual relations in a hotel room (simply sitting on the bed together is not sufficient). However, the process of collecting such detailed evidence may very well infringe on others' privacy. In this situation, the betrayed party feels extremely wronged and does not know how to defend their damaged dignity. In this case, after successfully catching his wife cheating, the man initially sought compensation, which was defined as "unjust enrichment." He went through a series of setbacks, including imprisonment, exoneration, reclaiming unjust enrichment, and further appeals, indicating that the injured party often suffers more than the offending party. If marriage law cannot effectively protect the victimized party and instead consistently condones the offending party, then the moral form of marriage will lose its meaning, and society will not achieve stability through moral marriage.
Does a marriage law with feminist characteristics better maintain social stability?叶 咏诗Throughout the long river of history, the law has always aimed to maintain social stability as its fundamental purpose. After all, the peace of the nation stems from the harmony of the family; if the family is in turmoil, how can society maintain stability? The marriage law system of the Qin Dynasty contained elements of feminism, such as the provision that "a wife can be exempt from criminal responsibility for killing her husband if he commits adultery." Compared to the current marriage law's stipulated 30-day cooling-off period for divorce, does this mean that the laws of the Qin Dynasty, which had feminist characteristics, were in some ways more advanced?
Why do the marriage aphorisms in the "Book of Songs" still trouble modern women?叶 咏诗The line "士之耽兮犹可说也，女之耽兮不可说也" from the "Book of Songs · Wei Feng · Mang" means that while men can still free themselves from the obsession with love, women find it difficult to extricate themselves once they become infatuated. This statement profoundly reveals the injustice faced by women in the ancient patriarchal society, placing them in a passive emotional position, as if once they fall into love, they cannot save themselves. Even in modern society, this notion still influences women in certain corners, forcing them to face more pressure and difficulties in their pursuit of love and marriage. So, why do the unspoken rules of women depending on men still exist in today's society?
Should a husband compensate his ex-wife who went through tough times with him after he becomes successful?叶 咏诗Why did Lady Ma choose to leave after accompanying Jiang Taigong for 60 years, only to suffer the humiliation of "spilled water cannot be retrieved"? Did she not contribute anything? As a sage, although Jiang Taigong looked down on his ex-wife, shouldn't he have made some gesture to maintain his face and status? Taking the story of Jiang Taigong and Lady Ma as an example, should a husband compensate his ex-wife after becoming successful?
Birth and upbringing shape the crossroads of a child's destiny.叶 咏诗Using the unique parenting styles of Queen Masako and Princess Kiko as a starting point, this predicts the tendencies of future Japanese imperial heirs—whether it will be Princess Kiko's son Hisahito or Queen Masako's daughter Aiko. This delves into the significant topic of "the impact of a child's background and educational differences on their mindset and achievements."
Why do mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts get passed down from generation to generation?叶 咏诗The case of the Japanese imperial family is a typical example: Michiko was abused by her mother-in-law, Empress Kojun, and after becoming a mother-in-law herself, she imposed the same treatment on her daughter-in-law, Masako, creating a vicious cycle. (Michiko was confined because her mother-in-law, Empress Kojun, was jealous of her easy pregnancy with a boy; Masako, on the other hand, was no longer sympathized with by her mother-in-law, who disliked her daughter Aiko for resembling Empress Kojun, and instead favored her younger daughter-in-law, Kiko, whose son was suspected of having an intellectual disability.) So why do mothers-in-law always tend to transform their own bitter experiences into harsh discipline for their daughters-in-law?
Place the parents' teapot steadily on the morning tea table.刘绮梦When elderly people are still in good health but feel tired and want to rest, their children should respect their wish to put down household chores, take the initiative to share the burden, and help them enjoy a leisurely and dignified life in their later years.
Chinese men generally bow to their original families and "reign" in front of their wives and children.叶 咏诗Why do Chinese men generally transfer their resentment towards their original families onto their wives and children, while maintaining a humble attitude towards their parents and siblings at home? Men face multiple conflicts within the family: first, the "ethical conflict between public and private domains of workplace and family roles"; second, the "intergenerational ethical role conflict between being a husband and being a son"; and third, the "conflict brought about by the transformation of gender role awareness between men and women."
